


Destiny's Burden

by RavenclawVulcanofCamelot



Series: Destiny's Burden [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Destiny, Fate, Friendship, Gen, Magic, Prophecies, fighting fate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8440777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawVulcanofCamelot/pseuds/RavenclawVulcanofCamelot
Summary: Mordred sees Merlin sneaking out one night and follows him. When he overhears Merlin's conversation with Kilgharrah the reason for the warlock's distrust of Mordred is revealed. But now that he knows the terrible secret of his destiny can Mordred change it? Or will he be crushed by the weight of it? AU after season 5, episode 5.





	1. A Fate Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, all characters belong to the BBC, only the plotline of the story is mine.  
> A/N: This story begins after the events of "The Disir", but before "The Dark Tower".

The night air was still. The courtyard of the great castle of Camelot lay silent and deserted. Deserted that is, except for one young knight.

Mordred sat against one wall of the courtyard, gazing up at the stars, lost in thought. Less than a day before he had lain unconscious and dying from a terrible wound. Now he was healed, but he didn’t quite understand how or why. He knew that Arthur had returned to the Disir to ask them to heal Mordred, but from what he understood, the price the Disir had asked had been one the king felt unable to pay. He had been astonished to come back and find Mordred alive and well, and the question of why he had been healed circled endlessly through Mordred’s thoughts.

He was shaken from his reverie by a small sound. Instantly alert the young man rose fluidly to his feet, drawing his sword from where it was sheathed at his side. His eyes searched the courtyard, coming to rest on a cloaked figure leaving the palace. The figure looked around wearily as it walked, but it did not see Mordred.

Mordred silently slid his sword back into its sheath. The figure’s build and the way he walked was familiar. Merlin. Whatever the warlock was up to, Mordred knew that it was nothing that was a threat to Camelot or the king. No one was more loyal to Arthur than Merlin. Still, Mordred’s curiosity was sparked. Just where _was_ Merlin going so late at night? It must have something to do with magic for Merlin to be so secretive, For almost none knew the servant’s true nature, save Mordred and (Mordred suspected) Gaius, none knew that Merlin was the one that the Druids called Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth.

After a moment of hesitation Mordred followed after him, being careful to remain silent, Merlin already didn’t trust him and he was unlikely to react well if he caught Mordred following him on what was clearly a secret mission.

Mordred followed Merlin out of the palace courtyard and through the town of Camelot. Once outside the city Merlin walked for several more minutes before stopping in a deserted field. Mordred slipped behind a tree, peering from behind it to watch Merlin. Was the sorcerer meeting someone here?

Merlin tilted his head back and began chanting to the sky in a harsh, guttural language. A shiver ran over Mordred’s skin. He could feel the power behind the words, but they were not the language of magic that he had learned since childhood, this was something else.

A loud flapping sound filled the air and Mordred watched in astonishment as an enormous dragon landed in front of Merlin. Emrys was a _Dragonlord_? Mordred gasped aloud, unable to help himself, but luckily the sound was drowned when the dragon began to speak,

“Why have you summoned me, young warlock? What do you want to discuss?”

“Mordred.”

The sorcerer’s answer caused the young knight’s knees to go weak. He clutched at the tree trunk in front of him to keep himself standing, listening harder than ever. Was he at last going to discover the reason Emrys distrusted him so deeply?

The dragon’s voice sounded cold, “What of him?”

“He saved Arthur’s life again, you know. Took a spear to save him.”

“Be that as it may, you know his destiny as well as I, do not forget that, young warlock. The Druid boy cannot be trusted.”

Mordred stood frozen behind the tree. He was half convinced he was dreaming. It seemed so absurd, standing here behind a tree listening to Merlin discuss his destiny with a dragon. He felt an irrational flash of anger as well, who was this dragon to judge whether or not he was trustworthy? As strange as the night had been so far, nothing could have prepared Mordred for what he heard next.

“I know.” Merlin’s tone was bitter, “Do you think I can forget the prophecy? That I can forget the vison? Forget that I watched him kill Arthur with my own eyes?”

Mordred’s blood turned to ice in his veins. He sank to his knees in the grass, not noticing the dampness of the nighttime dew. A distant part of his mind heard the rest of the conversation between Merlin and the dragon, Merlin’s explanation of what had happened with the Disir, how he had advised Arthur to refuse their request though it was what he had worked for for so long. The fact that Merlin had done this intentionally to prevent Mordred from being healed barely registered in the Druid’s mind. He did not even notice when the dragon flew away.

The words he had heard Merlin speak repeated in his head, drumming through his mind, drowning out all else. _I saw him kill Arthur….I saw him kill Arthur….kill Arthur…Mordred…kill Arthur_

“No!” the word sprang from Mordred’s lips in a strangled sound that was half-yell, half-sob.

Merlin whirled around and ran toward Mordred’s hiding place.

“What are you doing here?!” the warlock shouted angrily. Mordred scrambled to his feet, taking a step towards Merlin,

“It’s not true!” he heard himself yelling as if the words came from somewhere outside him, he grabbed Merlin’s shoulders, shaking him as if that could make him deny what Mordred had heard “It isn’t true!” But just as quickly as the anger had come over him it left, replaced by despair. Releasing Merlin, Mordred sank to his knees for the second time that night.

“It’s not true,” he repeated in an agonized whisper, tears streaming down his face, “I would never… I could never…” He swallowed hard, making his eyes meet Merlin’s, forcing out the words through the lump in his throat,

“Merlin… _Emrys_ , I am loyal to Arthur. I would give my life to save him. I would never betray him. Please Emrys, you must believe that.” He felt as if he knelt before a court, pleading for his life, for his future. Pleading for Emrys to take back the words that still echoed through his head.

Emrys stared down at him, his expression torn between suspicion and compassion, “I…I believe that you mean what you say, Mordred.”

Mordred heard the unspoken implication in his tone, “But you also believe that I…that I will…” he could not bring himself to say the words, “That is why you have never trusted me.” Merlin nodded silently, his face grim. Mordred buried his face in his hands, feeling as if the court he had imagined earlier had just passed judgement on him and pronounced him guilty.

He wasn’t sure how long he was lost to despair, crushed by the weight of his destiny, before he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a voice, calling to him as though from miles away.

“Mordred. Mordred! Mordred, listen to me, look at me.” With what seemed like an enormous effort Mordred dropped his hands and lifted his head to meet Merlin’s eyes, as the warlock knelt at his side. Somewhere in the back of his mind Mordred realized that the warlock’s tone was kinder than any he had used with Mordred in all the months since he had come to Camelot and that he was looking at Mordred as if seeing him clearly for the first time.

“Perhaps I was wrong to hide this from you. From the moment you entered Camelot I feared you were only biding your time, gaining Arthur’s trust before you struck. I can see now that that was wrong, that your loyalty is true.” A strangely determined look entered Merlin’s eyes, “knowledge of what is to come is a terrible burden to bear…but perhaps now that you know, now that you have heard this prediction…we can change it.”

Mordred felt the faintest stirring of hope in his heart,

“Change it?” his voice was a whisper, “Change what you have seen… change fate… is such a thing possible?”

Merlin hesitated, “The future is not set in stone, Mordred. And what’s the good of knowing what may come to pass if you cannot change it? I have to believe that it _is_ possible.”

Mordred felt strength reenter his limbs as the tiny wisp of hope that had entered his heart grew. He drew on the discipline he had learned as a knight to allow him to speak in a confident manner.

“Tell me of the prophecy. Tell me exactly what you saw in your vision.”

Merlin hesitated and Mordred squared his shoulders, “I can handle it Emrys, if I am to change my fate than I must know as much about it as I can.”

Merlin nodded. He took a deep breath and began to tell the Druid boy everything he knew, from Kilgharrah’s first warning so many years before (at last Mordred knew what had caused the older sorcerer’s strange hesitance to help him that night) to the old prophet and the vision he had had.  As Merlin spoke, Mordred felt the weight of his fate press heavily on his shoulder’s again, but this time he refused to give in to it.

“Camlann. Camlann is the key. If I do not go to Camlann than I cannot kill Arthur there.” He knew that changing his fate could hardly be a simple matter, but he met Merlin’s eyes with a look of grim determination that the warlock returned with a short nod of his head.

“This will _not_ be my destiny. I will _not_ kill Arthur. I _will_ change my fate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that my dears, is the end of the chapter. Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought.


	2. A Fate Unwanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. All characters and recognizable plotlines belong to the BBC. Much of the dialogue from the chapter is taken directly from the show. All such dialogue is in italics, as are thoughts.
> 
> I have finished writing this story, so updates will be regular, probably every Monday.

The next day Mordred was exhausted. He could barely keep his eyes open. When the other knights noticed and asked him what was wrong he just muttered something about not sleeping well. He could hardly say, "Oh I snuck out last night and overheard Merlin talking to a dragon about how it's my destiny to kill Arthur. So how has your day been?"

Of course it wasn't a lie that he hadn't slept well. He had returned to the castle with Merlin after vowing that he would stop his fate, but had slept very little, plagued with vivid nightmares of the scene Merlin had described seeing in his vision.

He could hardly admit any of this to his friends, though. Luckily they all put his exhaustion down to the fact that he had recently recovered from a near-fatal wound.

As the days passed by Mordred marveled at how though everything had changed, on the surface nothing had changed at all.

He trained with the other knights, went on patrols with them, laughed and joked with them… and tried to ignore the crushing sense of guilt he felt every time he spoke to Arthur. His destiny was like a constant but invisible weight that he carried everywhere. There were moments, brief ones, when he could laugh with the other knights and forget his destiny, but all too soon it would push its way back into his mind and he would have to force himself to keep laughing and joking as if nothing was wrong.

Actually there _was_ one outwardly noticeable change in Mordred's life since the night he had heard the prophecy. Merlin no longer regarded the young sorcerer with cold suspicion, when he spoke to Mordred his tone no longer held an underlying current of accusation. Indeed, Mordred didn't think he could have coped with the weight of his destiny if it wasn't for Merlin. The warlock was the only one who understood the burden he now bore, the burden Mordred and Merlin alone shared, the only one who Mordred could truly speak to, with no secrets between them.

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Ever since Mordred had been healed, Arthur had noticed a change in his youngest knight that he couldn't quite explain. On the surface all seemed as it had always been, but underneath there was something Arthur couldn't quite put his finger on, something Arthur had glimpsed in the expression on Mordred's face when he thought no one was watching, an underlying tone to his voice when he addressed Arthur that hadn't been there before. Unable to explain it and unwilling to press the young man about it, Arthur put it down to the fact that he had almost died.

At least one positive change had occurred since everything that had happened with the Disir. Arthur had never been able to understand the ill will that Merlin seemed to harbor toward Mordred, but whatever had caused it, it seemed to be gone now. In fact several times Arthur had caught Mordred and Merlin deep in conversation, both looking very serious.

However whenever Arthur asked Merlin what the two had been discussing his manservant simply shrugged and answered, "Just things, nothing really," And Arthur couldn't get a better answer out of him than that.

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Elyan was dead. It didn't seem real. Cheerful, brave Elyan who had been so full of life and so quick to smile. Elyan, who, except for Mordred had been the youngest of the knights. Elyan, who had managed to make Mordred laugh even when he felt the weight of his destiny would crush him.

Mordred had not been among the party who rode out to rescue the queen. He had sprained his ankle in training the day before the queen was captured, and it was this injury that had prevented him from joining his fellow knights on the quest. Some small part of Mordred, though he knew it was silly, wondered if he could have saved Elyan had he been there.

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Mordred had known there was something going on. Both Merlin and the king were acting strangely. Arthur had changed the route they had planned to take to the levy and sworn Mordred and Leon to secrecy, but offered no explanation for his actions.

When Mordred and Gwaine had come across Gaius and Merlin pushing what appeared to be a barrow of linen, something about the way they spoke had made him suspicious. Still he had been prepared to accept their explanation, until he had glanced back and seen the queen's hand trailing from the wheelbarrow.

So as soon as he was able to get away from Gwaine, Mordred had followed Merlin's tracks.

And it turned out to be a good thing he did. He had caught up to those he was following to find the queen sleeping soundly on the ground, with Arthur and Merlin nowhere in sight. He peered over the edge of the cliff, afraid of what he might find.

To his great relief, Arthur and Merlin were both fine, though Merlin was unconscious when Mordred first found them.

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After Merlin and Arthur were back on top of the cliff, they started a campfire and Arthur explained to Mordred what was going on.

Mordred glanced toward where Guinevere slept peacefully, remembering the first time he had met her, her quiet kindness as she without hesitation aided Morgana in hiding Mordred and caring for him, though it put her own life in danger.

" _It does not seem possible. The Queen has the sweetest of natures."_

" _It was never her."_ Arthur answered, _"Just Morgana. I'm sorry I didn't confide in you."_

Mordred stifled a self-depreciating smirk. Of the three men sitting around the campfire, Arthur had the least to apologize for when it came to concealing things.

" _It's best you didn't,"_ he answered. " _If I hadn't had my suspicions, I wouldn't have followed you. Merlin acting strangely..."_

" _Is that so unusual?"_ the king broke in, smirking at his manservant.

" _And the levy route being changed."_ Mordred concluded.

" _You had a funny feeling."_ Arthur said, with a look at Merlin that Mordred did not understand.

" _My Lord?"_ he asked in confusion. Arthur shook his head.

" _I'm glad that you did, Mordred. Without you, I fear I would have lost my arm at the very least."_

" _I would have woken."_ Merlin protested. Arthur just grinned, _"Merlin, if I had to rely on your timekeeping, I'd have lost both my arms and my legs to boot."_ Mordred laughed, despite the reason for this quest, it was good to be with Arthur and Merlin, especially now that Merlin no longer distrusted him.

The king turned to Mordred, _"It's good to have you with us. Three's always better than two, isn't that right, Merlin?"_

" _Of course,"_ Merlin answered, "I was going mad with just you for company. _It's time."_

" _I'll do it."_ Arthur rose to his feet.

" _Just two drops,"_ Merlin reminded him. When the king had walked away to attend to Guinevere, Merlin looked over at Mordred,

"You seem to be making a habit of following people." What might once have been spoken as a hostile accusation was now said in a light tone of voice.

Mordred smirked, "It seems to be a habit that serves me well." Both sorcerer's faces darkened at the memory of the last time Mordred had followed Merlin, and what had been revealed then. Mordred looked away from Merlin and stared into the campfire, the levity of the moments before already gone.

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Their journey was uneventful until the dragon appeared. The king took the queen to safety while Merlin and Mordred stayed behind to distract it. Arthur protested at first, but the two sorcerers insisted.

Once Arthur was out of sight, Merlin turned to Mordred, _"Stay here. I'll divert the creature."_ Mordred was about to protest then remembered that Merlin was a Dragonlord and merely nodded.

He waited, crouched behind the boulder, until Merlin returned.

Merlin grabbed the supplies, _"Come on. We need to move."_

But as they started running Morgana appeared. With a gesture of her hand she threw them back against the rocks and everything went black.

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When Mordred awoke Merlin was gone and Morgana was leaning over him, stroking his face. He was painfully reminded of how she had tended him when he was a child.

" _Why don't you kill me?"_ he growled.

Morgana shook her head almost sadly, _"My argument's not with you, Mordred. How could it be? We're of a kind."_

Mordred got to his feet and backed away from her, _"Never."_ The thought of his prophesied fate only increased the vehemence of his tone.

Morgana regarded him coldly, "You wear the uniform well but we both know what lies beneath. Do you think Arthur would tolerate you for one minute if he knew the truth? One of his knights, a sorcerer."

 _The real question, Morgana,_ Mordred thought grimly, _is whether Arthur could tolerate me for a second if he knew that I was destined to be his killer._ Of course he didn't say this aloud, instead he spoke words that he believed from the depths of his heart, _"One day he will know. One day we will be accepted."_

Morgana sneered, her tone dripping with scorn, " _Your naïveté would be charming if it wasn't so dangerous."_

Mordred gave no response and Morgana asked, _"Where's Emrys?"_

He gave her what he hoped was a blank look, _"Emrys?"_

" _You pretend you do not know of whom I speak?"_

Ignoring the increased rate of his heart, Mordred continued to speak in the same calm tone, _"It is a name I've only heard of."_

" _He's not here? With you?"_

" _If he was, would we both not feel the presence of such a great sorcerer?"_ This seemed to give Morgana pause, she hesitated and in her unsure look, Mordred saw just how terrifying she found the very idea of Emrys.

Overcoming her uncertainty Morgana gave Mordred a cold look, _"Then I have no further use for you."_

As she lifted her hand to cast a spell, Mordred felt a flash of panic.

"You would strike one of your own?" he asked coolly. Morgana hesitated and Mordred seized the chance, thinking again of the girl who had always been so kind to him when he was young.

" _I am not strong enough to defeat you, Morgana, but know this. Such hatred as yours can never triumph. I hope one day you will find the love and compassion which used to fill your heart."_ Though he said the words in hopes of distracting her, Mordred meant every word. He watched the effect the words had on her, but knew in a minute she would recover and push her emotions aside. With a stab of guilt he raised his hand and sent her flying backwards with a flick of his wrist.

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When Mordred caught up to the others, Merlin was nowhere to be seen. Arthur gave Mordred a look that was equal parts surprise and relief, _"Mordred! I thought we'd lost you."_

Mordred clasped arms with the king, _"So did I."_

" _How did you escape Morgana?"_

" _Even she is no match for a Knight of the Round Table."_ Even as he said the words, Mordred winced internally at the feebleness of the explanation.

Unsurprisingly, Arthur looked unconvinced, _"Seriously, Mordred."_

Thankfully at that moment the sound of footsteps hailed the arrival of the Dolma and Mordred was spared from having to come up with a better answer.

Mordred studied the woman as she and Arthur exchanged words. There was something familiar about her…

Arthur looked at Mordred, _"Does she look familiar to you?"_

So the king had noticed as well.

" _There is something…"_ Mordred answered. Apparently the Dolma did not take kindly to their muttering. As Arthur told her, though perhaps accused her was a more accurate term, that she looked familiar, Mordred looked around.

" _My lord, where's Merlin?"_

The Dolma claimed she had taken Merlin as surety, but something about that didn't ring true to Mordred. In fact he had a growing suspicion that he knew exactly where Merlin was.

Mordred watched quietly as the Dolma woke Guinevere. He winced at the harsh words the queen spoke to her husband and sighed in relief when Arthur was able to get through to her.

When "The Dolma" stepped forward to perform the spell that would free Guinevere from Morgana's enchantment, Mordred's suspicions were confirmed. Only one sorcerer was powerful enough to cast a spell with the kind of power that Mordred felt rippling through the air as the Dolma chanted.

Through the rest of the encounter, Mordred, now knowing who the Dolma was, had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as she scolded Arthur about his lack of appreciation for his servant. Even through his amusement over the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, one moment resonated with Mordred in a way he knew he would never forget.

" _Remember what saved your Queen. Magic and sorcery."_

" _It was also sorcery that bewitched her."_

" _There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. My request is that you remember this."_ Mordred looked toward Arthur to see how his king would respond.

Arthur's face was solemn, _"You have my word."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter even though nothing much happened that didn't already happen in the show. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	3. A Fate Discussed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where the story really begins to depart from canon. Get ready everyone, we have reached…. "The Drawing of the Dark". As in the last chapter, dialogue taken directly from the show is in italics. {} = Telepathic speech.

As was so often true of trouble in Camelot, the day started out normally. The king, Merlin, and the knights were returning from a hunting trip. It had been a good trip, enjoyable, though the absence of Elyan had been an almost physical presence, at least for Mordred.

Still, the party was in good spirits as they rode for home.

And then they came across the camp.

Mordred gazed around at the devastation he saw. The dead knights. The overturned carriage. For a moment he stood stock-still, his mind flashing back in time to another forest. A Druid camp. A time when the knights of Camelot had been a monster to be feared. A young boy filled with grief and anger.

He shook himself out of the memories, forcing himself to focus on the present. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw it, a flash of movement. His head snapped up and he caught sight of a cloaked figure. When the figure realized it had been seen it began to flee. Mordred chased after it.

As he pursued the figure, it tripped and fell. Mordred reached down and turned the figure over, pointing his sword down into its face. A face that was shockingly familiar. For a heartbeat, Mordred froze. The woman lying on the ground staring up at him was the last person he would ever have expected to see. He would have been less surprised if it was Morgana herself.

" _Kara?"_ For several seconds the two just stared at each other. Then Mordred remembered where they were.

" _Go!"_ he ordered urgently, _"Kara, go!"_ She scrambled away and in a moment she was out of sight.

Mordred turned as the others caught up with him, hoping he didn't look as shaken as he felt.

" _What happened?"_ Arthur asked.

" _I thought I saw someone."_ Mordred managed to keep his voice normal, " _I was wrong. Probably a deer."_

" _Are you sure?"_ Arthur asked.

" _Yeah."_ Mordred said, praying the king would believe it.

Arthur gave the order to move out. As Mordred began to follow the others he caught sight of Merlin staring at him. A chill ran down his spine. He was suddenly sure that Merlin had seen what he had done. He only hoped the older warlock would give him a chance to explain.

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As Merlin helped Gaius do his regular duties, his final conversation with Finna and Alator's warning echoed in his mind, " _Do not trust the Druid boy."_

He thought of what he had seen in the forest, and of the image that was never far from his mind, the vision of Mordred killing Arthur. One Merlin would have considered what he had seen to be absolute confirmation of the truth of Alator's warning. But though Alator knew the prophecies about Mordred, he wasn't all-knowing. And he hadn't seen Mordred's anguish when he learned of his fate. Merlin remembered the way the young man had fallen to his knees, staring up at Merlin with the desperation of a prisoner before the executioner. There were some things that couldn't be faked, no matter how good an actor one was.

He resolved to confront Mordred as soon as possible, to find out the truth. He realized, with a stab of irony, how drastically his view of the Druid boy had changed. For months Merlin had looked on every tiny thing Mordred did with suspicion, but now that the knight had done something that would have caused anyone to look at him with suspicion, there wasn't a doubt in Merlin's mind that, whatever Mordred's reasons for letting the Saxon go, the boy was no traitor.

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Mordred's heart beat rapidly in his chest as he snuck into Gaius' quarters, having just watched Gaius and Merlin leave. He searched through the vials and quickly grabbed what he needed, glad that his childhood training as a Druid had given him a basic understanding of medicine.

Perhaps he should have just asked for the medicine. If Merlin had been alone he might have. But then he would have had to explain to Merlin why he needed it. And every moment he spent trying to convince the warlock would have been another moment that Kara spent hiding out in the woods, alone and wounded.

Clutching the medicine tightly, Mordred hurried to his own quarters. He shoved the two vials into a satchel and hurriedly wrapped a dark, hooded cloak around his shoulders.

Luckily he was able to sneak out of the castle with no issues. He returned to the site of the Saxon attack, pausing to relight the torch he had obtained in the palace courtyard. Then he closed his eyes and concentrating, calling out in the telepathic language he had used so often as a child, but had not used since he came to Camelot. _{Kara.}_

He concentrated on listening. He heard a muffled voice in his mind, and then her voice spoke in his head clearly. _{Mordred.}_

His eyes opened and he began walking in the direction Kara's telepathic speech was coming from.

 _{Mordred.}_ He heard Kara call again. A tiny smile touched his lips. Despite everything, it was good to hear her voice again.

After what felt like forever, he reached her. She had managed to find a well-hidden little place to shelter herself.

Just gazing at her, a thousand memories filled Mordred's mind: Kara as a little girl, laughing and daring him to chase her, Kara at thirteen, eyes flashing with gold as she made the autumn leaves fly up into the air and swirl around her, Kara at fourteen, suddenly not just his playmate and best friend, but a very beautiful girl who gave Mordred strange feelings in his stomach whenever he looked at her, Kara on her fifteenth birthday, her arms around Mordred's neck as they danced. He had kissed her for the first time that night.

Shaking himself out of the memories, Mordred hurried to Kara's side. Setting the torch down hurriedly, he knelt and hugged her. For a moment it was as if no time had passed since he had first seen her. For a moment he forgot the danger of their situation as he just took in the fact that she was here, really here.

It was Kara who spoke first, _"Could you believe…"_

" _No,"_ he murmured.

She pulled away slightly and looked into Mordred's eyes, _"If it hadn't been you…"_

" _I know."_ he said softly, going cold at the thought of what would have happened if any of the others had found her.

He remembered why he had come. He had seen earlier that she was wounded.

" _Your leg?"_ He pulled away from her so he could tend to the wound.

" _It isn't deep."_ She reassured him as he took his satchel off his shoulder.

" _Let me see,"_ he said softly. He examined the wound on her leg then looked back up at her, _"I'll clean it."_

He pulled out the vials he had taken from Gaius' cupboard, _"These will help it heal."_ He began to tend to the wound.

" _What're we going to do?"_ Kara asked him.

" _I'm going to help you get better."_

" _You're a knight."_ He thought he heard a hint of accusation in her voice.

" _That doesn't matter,"_ he said softly.

" _Of Camelot,"_ It was definitely an accusation now.

She looked into his eyes as if seeking answers there, _"Why Mordred?"_

He looked away, _"Arthur is a good man."_ He met her eyes again, hoping she could read the sincerity in his.

Kara scoffed, _"I can't believe you'd say that."_

" _You don't know him."_ Mordred murmured.

" _He's your friend?"_ her tone was skeptical.

" _Yes."_ Mordred answered firmly.

" _Does he know who you are?"_ Kara asked. Mordred looked down, not answering. No one knew who he was, no one except Merlin, not even Kara knew the whole truth, the terrible secret of his destiny.

" _You're a Druid."_ Kara continued, _"You don't belong in Camelot."_

Mordred looked into her eyes, willing her to listen to him, to trust in him, _"I believe in Arthur. You'll see. One day, it will change."_ He put his hand gently on her cheek, _"You're safe here. No one will harm you, I promise."_ She reached up to touch his face and he put his other hand on her other cheek, pressing his forehead against hers and staring deeply into her eyes, remembering how much the girl in front of him meant to him.

After a few moments Kara pulled away, "There's something different about you, Mordred."

"You've never seen me in armor before," he teased.

Kara smiled briefly then shook her head, "No it's something more. It's as if you carry a burden that you didn't carry before."

Mordred went still. She knew him too well. A part of him longed to confide in her, to tell her everything he had learned about his destiny. But he couldn't. He was too ashamed, too afraid that she would draw away from him in horror. Or worse, that she would view the destiny he feared so much as a good thing.

When Mordred didn't answer, Kara sighed, "I suppose that's to be expected, being a Druid in Camelot. Serving a man who would see you and your kind dead."

The note of accusation was back in her voice.

Mordred winced, "I know it is hard for you to believe Kara, but Arthur _is_ a good man, a just king. Someday we will no longer have to live in hiding."

Kara's eyes flashed with scorn, "If Arthur is such a friend to the Druids then why do the prophecies say that it will be a Druid who kills him?"

Mordred froze, struggling to keep his face blank.

"I wonder who the Druid the prophecies speak of is…" Kara murmured. Mordred flinched, seeing again in his mind's eye the vision Merlin had described. Something must have shown in his face, because Kara's eyes widened.

"You know…" she breathed, "you know who it is the prophecies speak of!"

"No!" Mordred denied sharply.

"Tell me, Mordred!" Mordred recoiled from the eagerness in Kara's tone. Her voice got softer, "Come Mordred, you know you can tell me anything…"

Mordred leapt to his feet. "I don't know what you're talking about. I must go now, before anyone notices I am missing." A flash of hurt crossed Kara's face at Mordred's abrupt tone. He forced himself to meet her eyes and speak calmly, "I will come again tomorrow night and bring you food and supplies. Then you must leave Camelot. It is too dangerous for you to remain here any longer."

It was true that the longer Kara remained so close to the city, the better chance there was of her being caught, but Mordred knew there was more to his desire for her to go than that. Her hatred of Arthur, her clear desire for his death frightened him. He couldn't bring himself to believe that Kara was a true threat, but still, the farther away from Camelot she was, the better.

As he hurried out of the clearing he kept his eyes on the ground to keep from looking back. Because of this he realized that he had left bootprints in the damp dirt and was leaving more now. Bootprints that would lead straight to Kara's hiding place if they were found. With a wave of his hand and a muttered word, Mordred erased the prints.

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Kara waited until Mordred had vanished from sight. Her heart beat quickly with excitement. Reaching into a hidden fold of her robe, the Druid girl pulled out a scrap of parchment, a quill, and ink.

She hesitated just for an instant, than pressed her lips together in determination. Mordred would see that he was wrong to put his trust in the likes of Arthur Pendragon.

She muttered a spell and a raven flew down from the branches above her head.

The bird waited patiently as Kara jotted out a short message, then tied it to its leg.

"Take this to the Lady Morgana."

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In a dark room in a secluded place, a young woman with raven hair and icy beauty reclined on a bed.

There was a flutter at the window and she looked over as a large raven flew inside and came to rest on her bedside table.

She untied the message from its leg. As she read the seven words written on the scrap of parchment her eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face.

_Mordred knows the identity of Arthur's Bane._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter (and that you don't hate me too much for leaving off where I did.) Please comment and tell me what you thought.


	4. A Fate Desired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Merlin and its character's belong to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: As always, quotes taken directly from the show are in italics, though there isn't many of those in this chapter. Spells are also in italics. This chapter is shorter than the others, but I feel like the place I ended it was a good place to end it.

Mordred managed to sneak back into the castle without problem. Instead of returning to his own room, he made his way to the physician's quarters. He took a deep breath and then knocked on the door.

Gaius answered. He looked at Mordred in surprise, "Mordred, what can I do for you?"

"I…I need to speak to Merlin. Is he here?"

Gaius moved aside to let Mordred into the room, where Merlin was sitting at a table. He stood up when he saw Mordred, giving the younger man an inscrutable look.

"Why don't you come upstairs to my room? We can speak there."

Mordred followed Merlin up a narrow staircase into a small bedchamber.

Once they were inside Merlin shut the door and crossed his arms, turning to Mordred expectantly.

"Merlin, I need your help!" Mordred blurted out.

"Does this have to do with the Saxon I saw you let go?" Merlin asked in a level tone.

"No! I mean yes, but she isn't a Saxon, Merlin. She's a Druid. I have known her since we were both children. _She was wounded_ , Merlin, _she had an arrow in her leg!_ What was I supposed to do? _Let her be captured?"_

" _You're taking a risk_ , Mordred."

"I know. But I can't just let her die, and if Arthur finds her she'll be killed."

Merlin sighed, "Why do you need my help?"

Mordred took a deep breath, "I need a healing spell. I don't know any. If I can heal her leg then she can leave Camelot tomorrow."

Merlin hesitated for a moment, then nodded, "All right, I'll help you." He crossed over to the bed and knelt on the floor beside it. He rummaged under it for a minute before pulling out a thick book.

Mordred sucked in a breath, "Is that…?"

Merlin nodded in confirmation, "A spell book. Gaius gave it to me when I first arrived in Camelot."

He flipped through the book, "Here, this is what you need." He handed the book to Mordred, pointing to a spell.

" _Ic hæle þina þrowunga,_ " Mordred murmured softly, running his finger under the words as he memorized them.

He looked up from the book, "Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin nodded, "Just be careful."

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Merlin watched Mordred as he walked down the stairs and left Gaius' chambers. He hoped he had made the right choice. He didn't know why he was so worried. After all, he had helped Druids who were on the run before, including Mordred himself.

Was he just worried that Mordred would get caught? No, it was more than that. What had the Druid girl been doing so close to the site of the Saxon's attack? Could she have been in league with them?

But there was no reason to believe that was the case, perhaps she had been captured by the Saxons and managed to escape. It was obvious that Mordred cared a great deal about the girl. He had said that he had known her since he was a child.

Perhaps Merlin should have offered to accompany Mordred, rather than just giving him the healing spell. But the presence of a stranger would no doubt have frightened the girl, and two people sneaking out of the palace were more likely to be caught than one.

Merlin sighed and tried to put his worries aside. He just had to trust that Mordred would be careful and that all would go well.

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The next night Mordred snuck out of the castle once more. Again, he wore his dark cloak, and he had a bag slung over his shoulder, full of food he had taken from the palace kitchens.

Not needing to stop and call out this time, he quickly made his way to the place where he had left Kara. Despite the way they had parted the night before, he couldn't help but smile when he saw her. He hurried forward, dropping the bag of food on the ground and kneeling down to embrace her.

Kara smiled up at him, "Mordred, you came."

"Of course I did. I brought you food, enough for several days." He pointed to the bag.

"And I'm going to heal your leg. I learned a healing spell."

Kara looked confused, "How? From where?"

Mordred hesitated, "A book… in the palace vaults." He wasn't entirely sure why he didn't tell her about Merlin, it wasn't as if she was going to go to Arthur and tell him his manservant was a sorcerer. Still it wasn't his secret to tell.

He pulled back her cloak so he could see the wound on her leg. Putting his hand over it, he concentrated on his magic, " _Ic hæle þina þrowunga_."His eyes flashed gold and the wound was healed.

Mordred got to his feet and held out his hand to help Kara to her.

He didn't let go of her hand once she was standing. He looked deep into her eyes, wanting to memorize her face.

"You need to go now, leave Camelot and find somewhere safe."

Kara grabbed Mordred's other hand so both of his hands were clasped with hers, "Come with me, Mordred. We can be together."

He pulled his hands gently out of hers, "Kara, I can't. I am a knight of Camelot, I cannot just abandon my duties. I'm sorry."

"So am I." Something in Kara's tone made the hairs on the back of Mordred's neck stand up.

"Kara?" he asked cautiously, "What are you sorry for?"

She wasn't looking at him. Instead she was staring over his shoulder. Slowly, heart beating rapidly, Mordred turned around.

Behind him, a few feet away, stood Morgana, a cold smile on her lips, "Hello, Mordred."

He took a step backwards in shock. Kara walked over to stand by Morgana.

Mordred stared at her, feeling as though the world had dropped out from under his feet. "How… how could you do this to me?" He wanted to scream the words at her, but they came out as a whisper.

"I did it for _you_ ," Kara said, as I she was explaining something that Mordred simply didn't understand, "It is clear you have been deceived by Arthur. Lady Morgana will show you the truth."

"It is _you_ that has been deceived." He flung the words at her as pain and anger warred in his heart, "Morgana is consumed with hatred. Her hatred will consume you too."

Kara shook her head, "You just don't understand, Mordred." Incredibly, she smiled at him and extended her hand as if she expected him to take it, "Just come with us and you will see."

Mordred stepped back as if her offered hand was a poisonous viper.

"Never," he snarled.

Morgana smiled coldly, "Ah, but you will, _old friend_. You see, I'm afraid you don't have a choice."

Swiftly, Mordred drew his sword, wondering as he did so why he had not drawn it long ago.

But before he could attack, before he could even think about moving, Morgana raised her hand.

Her eyes flashed gold and he found himself flying back. Then his head hit the trunk of a tree and Mordred knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! The spell is take from the Merlin wiki page. It translates to "I cure your sufferings." And in case you didn't realize it, the chapter's title refers to Morgana's desire for the prophecy about Arthur's death to be fulfilled. Coming up with these "A Fate ….." titles can be hard. Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!


	5. A Fate Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights to Merlin belong to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: A reviewer brought up the fact that according to the Diamair Arthur's Bane is himself. But Morgana doesn't know that. She thinks it's some weapon she can use against Arthur, so if Kara or one of the other Druids who allied with her told her that it was prophesied that a Druid would kill Arthur, it's fair to assume that Morgana would equate the Druid of the prophecy with Arthur's Bane. Therefore, that's what her and her allies call him. That's my line of reasoning anyway.
> 
> As always, lines taken from the show are in italics and there is also a flashback sequence that is in italics. Now enough talk from me, let's get on with the show!

"Merlin!" Merlin, who had just returned to the castle after spending the day in the woods searching for herbs for Gaius, turned at the familiar sound of Arthur's voice. He felt a twinge of annoyance, expecting to hear something along the lines of "Merlin, polish my armor" or "Merlin, muck out the stables" or "Merlin clean my bed chamber" or his personal favorite, "You haven't been spending the day in the tavern again, have you _Mer_ lin?"

But instead of the bossy, annoyed expression he expected, the king looked vaguely worried, "Have you seen Mordred today, Merlin?"

Merlin shook his head feeling a prickle of unease, "No, Sire, I've been collecting herbs for Gaius all day. Why?"

Arthur sighed, "He didn't turn up for training today, and no one seems to have seen him since yesterday."

The prickle of unease was swiftly turning into full-blown worry.

"Let me take these to Gaius, then I'll help you look for him." Merlin offered.

He hurried to the physician's quarters to drop off the herbs, internally debating whether to tell Arthur what he knew about Mordred and the Druid girl.

After dropping off the herbs, he found Arthur speaking with a guard who was informing the king that he had seen Sir Mordred leaving the castle the night before but hadn't thought much of it at the time.

Nodding at the guard and jerking his head for Merlin to follow him, Arthur set off. Merlin followed close behind him, still having a fierce internal debate with himself.

Perhaps there was a perfectly simple explanation for Mordred's disappearance. If so Merlin didn't want to stir up trouble and risk putting the Druid girl, and possibly Mordred himself, in danger. But what if Mordred already _was_ in danger? Shouldn't Merlin tell the king everything he knew?

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he barely noticed when they left the city and entered the woods. In fact he nearly walked right into Arthur before he realized that the king had stopped walking.

"Look," Arthur gestured to the ground, where bootprints could be clearly seen in the soft dirt of the forest floor.

"You believe Mordred made these tracks?"

"Perhaps. They match the boots the knights wear. Though I don't know why he would be out here." Merlin opened his mouth to speak then shut it again, choosing instead to silently follow Arthur as he followed the tracks.

The bootprints led to a small clearing that would otherwise have been quite difficult to find. Merlin's gaze flitted around it, half expecting to see the Druid girl hidden somewhere in the shadows.

"Merlin, look at this." Arthur spoke in a strained voice and Merlin walked quickly over to join his king. He looked down at the ground where Arthur was staring and felt his blood run cold.

A satchel lay on the ground, among the leaves, but that wasn't what Arthur was staring at. A few yards away from the satchel, back among the trees lay a sword, as if it had been dropped or abandoned.

Silently Merlin walked forward and picked it up, bringing it back to where Arthur stood.

Wordlessly Arthur held out his hand and Merlin handed him the weapon. Arthur turned the weapon over in his hand, examining it.

"It's Mordred's." The king's voice was flat in a way that Merlin knew meant he was suppressing strong emotions. Arthur looked around the clearing and his eyes fell on the satchel. He walked forward and picked it up, opening it to reveal that it was full of food.

"What was Mordred _doing_ out here?" Frustration leaked into Arthur's voice.

Merlin swallowed hard. There was nothing for it, he would have to tell Arthur now.

"I believe I can answer that, Sire."

Arthur turned toward him, his eyes narrowed, "What are you talking about, Merlin?"

Merlin took a deep breath, "Do you remember when we found the camp that had been attacked by Saxons and Mordred thought he saw something?"

Arthur nodded, looking exasperated, "Yes, of course, he said it was probably a deer, what's your point?"

"It wasn't a deer."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something and Merlin held up a hand, "It wasn't a Saxon either."

Arthur blinked, "Then what _was_ it?"

"A Druid girl, Sire, a girl Mordred knew as a child. He let her go and then came back to help her."

"How do you know all this?"

"I saw him let the girl go. And then later he came to me… for medical supplies."

"And you didn't see fit to tell me any of this before now?" Arthur snapped.

Merlin winced, "I'm sorry, Arthur. I didn't believe the girl was a threat, and I did not wish to cause trouble for her or for Mordred."

Arthur scowled, then seemed to decide to let the matter of Merlin's withholding of information drop- at least for the moment.

"You said Mordred knew the Druid girl as a child?"

Merlin nodded, "Yes, that's what he said." Several seconds passed and the king didn't say anything more.

Merlin frowned and looked toward him, "Arthur?"

Arthur had the strangest expression on his face. His mouth was hanging open slightly and his eyes were far away, as if he was seeing something in the trees that Merlin couldn't see.

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Something very strange was going on in Arthur's mind. He barely heard Merlin's response to his question. Instead his own words seemed to echo in his head, but not all of them, just three words, three words out of the sentence, three words that somehow Arthur knew were connected, words that made something click into place in his mind. _Mordred….Druid…. child…._

Another voice echoed in his head, Mordred's voice, _"You don't remember me, do you? You saved my life once."_

Arthur stared vacantly into the trees, not seeing them, seeing something else entirely.

_Different trees, the dusk replaced by the dark of true night. He could feel the movement of the horse beneath him, feel the warmth of the small body that was pressed against his, riding in front of him on the horse. And then he was jumping down from the horse, lifting the child and placing him on the ground._

_He had his hand on the boy's shoulder and they walked toward a clearing where three men waited. The boy joined the men._

_One of the men spoke, "We are forever indebted to you Arthur Pendragon, for returning the boy to us."_

_Arthur heard his own voice answer, "You must not let it be known that it was I who brought him to you."_

" _We will tell no one. You have my word." The Druid answered with a hint of a smile._

_As the Druids turned to leave Arthur heard his own voice call out, "Wait, I don't even know your name! At least tell me your name."_

_The boy looked up at the man who seemed to be the leader, as if seeking permission._

" _It's alright." The man responded._

_The boy looked back at Arthur, "My name is Mordred."_

_And Arthur heard his own voice once again, "Good luck, Mordred."_

"Arthur! Arthur!" Someone was shaking his shoulder. Arthur blinked rapidly as if coming out of a dream. He once more stood in a clearing at dusk. It was Merlin shaking him, and from the slightly panicked look on the servant's face and the alarmed tone of his voice, Arthur wondered just how many times Merlin had said his name before he heard him.

Merlin stopped shaking him, "What's wrong with you?!" he demanded in a voice that was equal parts exasperated and worried – and in no part an appropriate tone for a servant to use when addressing his king.

"Mordred… the Druid boy," he could hear how dazed his tone was. He shook his head to clear it and was pleased to find that his voice had returned to normal when he next spoke, "The Druid boy that we saved all those years ago, that was Mordred. Mordred is a Druid."

He looked at Merlin who was staring determinedly at the ground as if it fascinated him. A wave of realization swept over Arthur.

"You knew," he said flatly. It wasn't a question.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin was still staring at the ground.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?!" Arthur demanded, his voice nearly a shout.

Merlin finally looked up, taking a deep breath and meeting Arthur's eyes, "If I had believed it was necessary to your safety or the safety of Camelot I would have told you, Arthur, but otherwise it was not my secret to tell."

Merlin looked away again and something seemed to catch his eye. He frowned and walked forward, bending down to pluck something off the ground. Arthur watched Merlin's body go rigid as he looked down at whatever was in his hand. Then he turned and walked slowly back to Arthur. He held the item up for Arthur to see. It was a piece of green fabric that looked as if it had been torn off an expensive dress. The sight of it made Arthur's blood run cold.

"Morgana."

Merlin nodded, his face grim.

"Do you think the Druid girl was working with her?"

"It's possible."

Arthur had to force himself to ask the next question, but it had to be said, "Do you think _Mordred_ is in league with Morgana?"

Merlin shook his head at once, "No, Sire, I cannot believe that."

"You didn't trust him before. Why? Because he's a Druid?"

Merlin shook his head, "No, my reasons for not trusting Mordred were… complicated."

Arthur wanted to press further, but he sensed it would do no good, "But you trust him now?"

Merlin nodded, "Yes, I do. I have no doubt that he is loyal to you, Arthur." He spoke with absolute certainty.

"Then you believe that Morgana has taken him against his will?"

Merlin nodded again, "Yes. If he had left this place of his own volition then he would not have left his sword behind."

Arthur found, quite suddenly, that it didn't matter that Mordred was a Druid. It didn't matter that he had been hiding his true identity since the moment he had come to Camelot. At least not at the moment.

At the moment only one thing mattered, "Then we must find him. We must get him back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed, even though we didn't see Mordred's perspective at all in this chapter. Don't worry, I promise next chapter we will return to him and find out what happened after he was knocked unconscious. I was planning to have that in this chapter, but then the scene with Arthur and Merlin turned out to be longer than I expected so I decided to just have it be its own chapter. Plus I rather like the ending place I chose. Please leave a commrnt and tell me what you thought of this chapter!


	6. A Fate Discovered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights to Merlin belong to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: Previously in Destiny's Burden: Mordred had a confrontation with Morgana in the woods and Arthur remembered something crucial about the identity of his youngest knight.
> 
> As promised, this chapter reveals what happened to Mordred after we left him lying unconscious in the woods, back in chapter four.
> 
> I forgot to post this earlier! Monday is my posting day for this story, since it's actually complete.

Mordred woke from one nightmare straight into another.

_In his dream he watched from above, powerless to help as a knight clad in dark armor struck down his king. Then the knight pulled off his helmet and looked up, and Mordred found himself staring down into his own face._

"No!" he woke with a strangled yell, gasping wildly as he bolted up into a sitting position. It took a few moments for his surroundings to register. He had not woken in his bed, sheets tangled around him, as he had so many nights in the past weeks. Instead he felt only cold stone beneath him.

His head turned blindly in the dark as he tried to figure out where he was. Slowly his eyes adjusted until he could just make out his surroundings from the moonlight that trickled through a tiny barred window high above him.

He was in a cell. For one wild moment he wondered if he had been discovered helping Kara and arrested. Then, at the thought of Kara, the memories came rushing back. And with them the emotions.

Mordred's whole body shook, but not with fear. No, fear would come later, at the moment it was drowned out by waves of fury, of grief, of betrayal.

_How could she do this to me?_

The image of Kara's smiling face as she held out her hand to him swam before Mordred's eyes and he let out a wordless cry of grief and anger. The Druid's eyes flashed gold and the bars of his cell shook violently.

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Several floors above, the telepathic force of Mordred's cry woke Morgana. Swiftly, she rose from her bed and left the chamber. As she began to descend the stairs, she was unsurprised to see Kara emerge from a room on the next level. Morgana paused so Kara could join her. The girl had proved to be useful far beyond Morgana's expectations.

Morgana offered her a smile, "It appears our visitor has awoken. Come, let us go and keep him company."

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Mordred heard brisk footsteps walked towards him. A torch was thrust into a bracket next to his cell door. He recoiled when he saw Morgana standing there. Then he saw the figure behind her and immediately forgot Morgana's presence.

"How could you do this to me?!" he yelled at Kara, striding forward until he was at the door of the cell, gripping the bars as he glared at her, repeating the words he had said in the clearing. He wanted to grab her and shake her.

"I thought you loved me! How could you do this?" His voice broke and he turned his face away to hide the way his eyes had filled with tears, clinging to the bars now not out of anger but as an anchor to keep himself standing.

"It is not I who has become a traitor, Mordred." Kara's voice held pain, but also anger, as if _she_ had any right to be angry.

"The Lady Morgana told me how she saved you as a child."

Mordred released the bars and spun to face them again, meeting Morgana's eyes for the first time before glaring at Kara, "And did she tell you that it was not her alone? Did she tell you that it was Arthur's manservant Merlin who first brought me to her? Did she tell you how Guinevere helped her to hide me and care for me? Or how Gaius, the physician came to tend to my wounds?"

He switched his burning gaze from Kara to Morgana, though his words were still directed at his childhood love, "Did she tell you how Arthur, the man she hates so much, the man you claim is such an enemy to the Druids, broke me out of prison and returned me to our people?"

Kara was silent. Morgana met Mordred's fiery eyes with a gaze cold as ice, "Your loyalty is misplaced, based on one act of Arthur's when you were a child."

Mordred gritted his teeth, "I am loyal to Arthur because he is a fair and just ruler. I saw it when I was a child, and I have seen it again every day that I have served him."

For a moment Morgana lost her icy composure, "Arthur is a tyrant just as his father was before him!"

Mordred shook his head, feeling a wisp of sadness for Morgana, mixed in with all his other emotions, "You are blinded by your hatred."

Morgana had quickly regained her composure, "Enough of this. We did not come here to discuss you're hero-worship of my brother."

"Why did you bring me here?" Mordred crossed his arms and regarded her with what he hoped was a cool manner, "If you think you can convince me to join you, you are wrong."

Morgana smiled coldly, "Kara tells me that you know the identity of the Druid the prophecies speak of, the one who is destined to kill Arthur."

Mordred's hands balled into fists and he had to force his voice to remain calm, "How would I have come by this knowledge, my lady? It is you who are the Seer, not I."

"Do not play dumb with me, Mordred," Morgana snarled, "You know the identity of Arthur's Bane and you will tell me who it is!"

"You are wrong, my lady." Mordred allowed anger to seep into his voice for fear that otherwise it would tremble with fear, "I do not know the identity of this Druid, and even if I did, I would die before I gave you information that could harm Arthur."

"We shall see," Morgana snapped. She flicked her hand and two guards who Mordred had not noticed before materialized from the shadows.

"Bring the prisoner," Morgana ordered. Mordred's eyes slid to Kara and he thought he saw a flash of concern cross her face. He pressed his lips together in a tight line, it was a little too late for her to start feeling concern for his welfare now, when she had already betrayed him to Morgana.

Mordred was shoved roughly up several flights of stairs and into a small room. He looked around, expecting to see instruments of torture, but the room was bare except for a small table with a tiny vial resting on it.

The guards turned him roughly around to face Morgana, shoving his back against the wall.

Mordred met Morgana's eyes, "Do you plan to torture me, my lady?"

Kara flinched, but Morgana merely smiled, "of course not, my old friend. I have a much better way to get information out of you than torture."

She walked over to the table and picked up the vial, holding it up for Mordred to examine, "This little tincture was made from the petals of the _Veritas_ flower. Very rare, I could only get enough for one small dose, but that will be more than enough."

She walked toward Mordred, who would have backed away if his back had not already been pressed against the wall.

"You see, Mordred," Morgana said in a lilting voice, "the tincture made from this flower, when brewed with the use of magic, will force the man who ingests it to tell the truth. He cannot lie, and he cannot remain silent. He must answer the questions put to him and answer them truthfully."

Mordred raised his hand to cast a spell. Instantly the guards grabbed his arms and pinned them against the wall.

Morgana uncorked the vial. Mordred craned his head away. One of the guards grabbed his hair and forced his head back. Morgana pressed the vial to his lips and forced them open. Mordred was unable to help himself from swallowing the thick, clear liquid that poured from the vial.

The guard released his hair at a nod from Morgana. Mordred didn't feel any different and he prayed that the tincture in the vial hadn't worked.

"Now, let's see," Morgana's spoke in a tone of deadly softness, "First of all… do you know the identity of the one they call Emrys?"

"Yes." The word left Mordred's lips before he could stop it. His eyes widened in horror and Morgana laughed.

"Very good. So tell me Mordred, where can I find Emrys?"

"Camelot!" Mordred gasped, then closed his eyes, horrified. He hadn't meant to say that, it had just come out.

Morgana smiled triumphantly, "And what is Emrys' true name?"

Mordred clenched his teeth together, desperately trying to keep himself from answering. But his lips opened of their own accord and he heard his own voice speaking, "Merlin."

Morgana's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock, " _Merlin?"_ Her voice was incredulous, disbelieving, but she quickly recovered.

When she next spoke it was in a tone of feverish excitement, " _Excellent._ Now tell me, who is the Druid that is destined to kill Arthur?"

Mordred felt his eyes go wide in panic. He bit down hard on his tongue and the taste of blood filled his mouth. But it was no good, he felt the words flooding up from inside him, bursting from his lips in a tortured tone without his consent, words he would have given anything to stop himself from saying, "I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, do you hate me now? Not too much, I hope. Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts. Oh, and the Veritas flower tincture is loosely based on Veritaserum from Harry Potter.


	7. A Fate Ensnared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I still don't own Merlin.

When Morgana was finished interrogating Mordred, he was escorted back to his cell by the guards.

He waited until they were out of sight then held out his hand in the direction of the lock on the cell door, " _Tospringe_." He felt a small surge of magic leave him, but nothing happened. His shoulders slumped. He hadn't really expected it to work, Morgana wasn't a fool, but he had had to try.

He slid down into a sitting position against the wall and buried his face in his hands. _What have I done?_

He felt sick with fear. _Morgana knows Merlin is Emrys…._ _Morgana knows that the prophecy is about me…_

And the worst part was he had no way of warning his friends.

No, that wasn't true. The worst part was knowing that Morgana would do anything to make the prophecy come to pass.

 _It doesn't matter,_ he told himself, _I won't betray Arthur. She can't make me hurt him…_

Unbidden, the image of Guinevere at the Cauldron of Arianrhod, her expression twisted in a hatred that seemed so foreign on her face that she looked like a different person.

_If she can do that to the queen, who knows what she's capable of doing to me, what she's capable of making me do…._

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Mordred slept fitfully that night, plagued by nightmares. There were the usual visions of himself killing Arthur, but this time Morgana stood in the background and laughed. There were also new nightmares to accompany the old…

_Morgana stood over a sleeping Merlin, a dagger held high… Arthur and the other knights were on a battlefield surrounded and vastly outnumbered. Mordred tried to run to them, but a hand grabbed his arm and held him in place. He turned to find Kara, her grip impossibly strong, her eyes cool, "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that Mordred…"_

_Kara morphed into Morgana and suddenly the other knights and the enemy army disappeared and Mordred was standing over Arthur's fallen body, sword in hand, while Morgana laughed. Merlin ran toward them. He cast a horrified look at Arthur then gave Mordred a look of utter hatred and disgust, "I always knew you couldn't be trusted. You were born to be a traitor."_

_Morgana smiled and held out her hand, "He's right, Mordred. Come with me, old friend. You belong with me, you always have…"_

_Mordred wanted to run, but his feet were stuck to the ground. He wanted to scream but he couldn't make a sound…_

"Mordred! Mordred!"

He sat up with a gasp, looking around wildly before his eyes settled on Kara standing at the door of his cell, two guards close behind her. The residual horror and guilt left over from his nightmare turned swiftly to anger at the sight of her.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"I brought you breakfast." She held up the tray in her hands, then looked at him in concern, "Are you alright? You were thrashing around and moaning."

"Stop it." Mordred said in a clipped tone, "Just stop it."

She looked bewildered, "Stop what?"

"Pretending to be concerned, pretending that you _care._ "

She looked hurt, which once would have made Mordred feel instantly guilty but now just caused him to feel another jolt of anger.

"I do care, Mordred."

He pushed himself to his feet.

" _No_ , you don't! If you _cared_ about me I wouldn't be in this cell. If you _cared_ about me you wouldn't have betrayed me to Morgana. If you had _any_ feelings toward me at all you wouldn't have stood by while Morgana forced me to betray my friends!" By the last sentence he was yelling.

Kara's eyes filled with tears and despite everything Mordred felt a brief stab of guilt, which only served to make him angrier than ever.

Kara stepped forward and unlocked the cell door. The guards moved forward menacingly, as if to remind Mordred of the futility of trying to escape.

Kara set the food down but didn't leave the cell. Instead she took a step toward Mordred who backed away. Again a flash of hurt crossed her face.

She held out her hands to Mordred, "It doesn't have to be like this Mordred. Swear loyalty to Morgana and you will be treated as an honored warrior."

"I'd rather die."

"Don't say that! It is your destiny to kill Arthur!"

Mordred flinched, but if Kara noticed she didn't react, "Doesn't that prove Morgana is right? Accept your destiny and you will be so much happier. Accept your destiny and we can be together, Mordred."

"I'd rather die." Mordred repeated coldly, shoving away the part of his heart that, even now, still loved her.

Kara gasped. Through tears, she glared at him, "I don't know you anymore, Mordred."

Mordred shook his head, feeling a wave of sadness, "I could say the same to you. How could you work for Morgana, Kara? No matter how much you hate Arthur, you are a Druid. How could you ally yourself with a woman who has set herself against Emrys?"

Kara's eyes widened. For a moment, she looked uncertain. Then her face hardened, "Emrys has been beguiled by Arthur. He is a traitor to all who practice the Old Religion, as are you."

She whirled around and hurried from the cell, the door clanging shut behind her. The guards moved forward and locked it. Then they to disappeared, though Mordred was sure they didn't go far, and he was left alone.

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Hours passed as Mordred sat in his cell, worrying about his friends, and hating how utterly useless and powerless he felt.

He had no idea how long it had been before he heard footsteps coming toward his cell. He could hear the heavy clumping of the guard's boots, and with them other lighter, brisker footsteps that could only be long to one person.

Sure enough, Morgana soon swept into view. She gave him a cold smile that didn't reach her eyes as she stepped forward and unlocked the cell.

"Come, Mordred. I've arranged a display that should prove quite entertaining for you."

Mordred didn't move, instead giving her a polite smile, "I'm afraid I'll have to decline your offer, my lady. I'm really quite busy at the moment."

Morgana jerked her head to the guards, who came into the cell and grabbed him by the arms, pulling him roughly to his feet.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Mordred muttered. Some of the sarcasm employed by Merlin, Arthur, and the other knights in these kinds of situations seemed to have rubbed off on him. It was surprisingly comforting.

The guards marched him through the castle into what appeared to be a throne room. Morgana took her place by the throne and the guards led him to a place beside it, where they stood behind him. Several other guards also occupied the room.

Morgana appeared to be waiting for something. Mordred shifted from foot to foot. Part of him wanted to make a break for it, but the more sensible part of him knew that he'd be taken down by his guards or by Morgana's magic before he could make it more than a few feet.

After a few minutes, Mordred heard quiet footsteps coming down the hall. A hooded man entered the room and stood before Morgana. She smirked.

" _What a pleasure it is to see you again, Ari."_ The man pushed back his hood and Mordred saw the Druid symbol tattooed on his neck. His stomach tightened. How many Druids had Morgana managed to persuade to work for her?

" _The honour is all mine, my lady."_ Ari said.

" _Your arrival has been keenly anticipated, I can assure you."_ Morgana said. She glanced at Mordred who wondered if she had positioned him where he was to make it appear if he was some sort of advisor to her or something. Though he had no idea why she would wish to do that, or whether it was for his benefit or the man called Ari's.

Morgana looked at Ari again, _"I have boasted of your powers. Though not all believe."_

" _People may believe as they wish."_ Ari said, his tone unphased.

 _Oh, well perhaps some small proof of your talents is an order. After all, seeing is believing. Is it not?"_ Morgana's tone was slightly taunting.

" _I'm not an entertainer my lady."_ Ari's tone was laced with sarcasm.

Morgana smiled, _"Of course not,"_ the amusement vanished from her tone, _"Think of it as more as a demonstration. Extinguish those flames,"_ she ordered.

Ari looked down, " _My lady, I must protest."_ Mordred felt a flicker of admiration. The man might work for Morgana, but he was not a mindless drone who obeyed her orders without question.

" _Indulge me."_ Morgana commanded coldly. Mordred wondered what the point of this was. Was she merely trying to show that her orders were to be obeyed or did she have some other motive?

Ari relented, " _Forp fleoge."_ The flames in the braziers vanished.

" _Impressive indeed,"_ Morgana's tone was laced with amusement, _"Who here now could deny your powers?"_

A guard came forward, bearing a box that he laid at Morgana's feet. Mordred eyed it warily, wondering what it contained. Ari must have had a better idea than he. The Druid man tried to back away, but was restrained by two guards.

Morgana opened the lid of the box and began incanting in a low voice. Mordred's eyes flicked between her and Ari. The Druid man was panicking now.

" _Not this!"_ The guards forced him to his knees.

" _Please, Morgana. My lady, I beg of you. I'm begging you."_ Mordred felt his own stomach contract at the man's obvious fear. Morgana ignored Ari's pleas.

Mordred watched in horror as some vile slug-like creature slithered from the box. Suddenly the creature flew at Ari, attaching itself to his face. Ari fell into his back, struggling desperately with the creature.

Mordred didn't think. He lunged forward to help. The two guards standing behind him caught his arms and jerked him back. Mordred fought them, knowing it was pointless, but unable to help himself as he watched Ari writhe in panic on the floor. The creature slithered away and Ari lay still. Mordred stopped struggling and the guards released him.

" _Is he dead?"_ Mordred asked, in a horrified whisper.

" _If I had wanted him dead, I would have put a sword in his gut."_ Morgana answered coldly. She gave no sign that the scene they had just witnessed had affected her in the slightest.

Ari took a gasping breath and was pulled to his feet by the guards.

"Don't despair Ari, we're nearly done. If you'd do me the favor of relighting those fires." Morgana commanded coolly.

" _You know...I cannot."_ There was a look of despair in Ari's eyes that made Mordred catch his breath. What had Morgana done to him?

" _For the benefit of my friends."_ Morgana persisted ruthlessly.

Ari threw off the guards arms, _"I will not humiliate myself before you_." Again Mordred felt a stab of admiration, this time mingled with pity.

" _You will if you want to see your family alive."_ Mordred glanced toward Morgana in disgust. _And she claims Arthur is a tyrant…_

Ari looked down at the braziers, " _Bael onbryne!"_ Nothing happened.

" _Again!"_ Mordred jumped at Morgana's yell.

"If you please," she added in a more controlled tone.

" _Bael onbryne."_ Ari began to weep and the guards led him away. With a sick swoop in his stomach, Mordred understood what the creature Morgana had unleashed had done.

Morgana turned to Mordred with a smile, "Well? Did you enjoy my demonstration?"

Mordred fought back the urge to be sick, "Do you intend to take my magic, my lady?" He couldn't keep his voice from shaking slightly.

"Of course not!" Morgana pressed a hand to her heart as if shocked, "My little friend that you just met is to be a gift for Emrys. You see, _Arthur is nothing without Emrys and Emrys is nothing without magic._ "

Mordred swallowed hard, determined not to let Morgana see the effect her words had on him. _This is all my fault…. I told her who Merlin was…_ he thought in despair.

 _You couldn't help yourself._ The rational part of his brain argued.

 _None of this would have happened if you hadn't been fool enough to let yourself get caught in the first place!_ The despair argued back. Morgana's voice jolted him from his thoughts,

"I have another surprise for you, Mordred."

He forced his voice to be steady, "If it's anything like this one, I'd just as soon go back to my cell, my lady."

Morgana merely laughed. She signaled to the guards, who took hold of Mordred's arms again.

He was led through the castle and into a courtyard.

"Aithusa!" Morgana called and a white dragon, the same dragon that had attacked as Mordred, Merlin, Arthur, and Gwen made their way to the Cauldron of Arianrhod, appeared from a shadowed corner and came to stand before them.

Morgana turned to one of her guards and held out her hands. The guard handed her a sword. She turned to the dragon and gave it a command, holding the sword out towards it. The dragon breathed fire onto the sword.

Morgana smiled, " _Your blade, Mordred."_

She held it out to him, _"Forged in a dragon's breath, nothing can survive its touch._ With it you will fulfill your destiny. With it you will kill Arthur."

Mordred made no move to take the sword.

"Never." He said with quiet vehemence, "I'll die first."

Morgana laughed coldly, "How noble… and how futile." She handed the sword off to a guard and pulled a small dagger from her cloak. In a swift motion, she jerked it across the palm of her hand, drawing blood. Before Mordred could react, she grabbed his hand and drew the dagger across his palm too. He gasped and jerked his hand away.

Morgana held the dagger in front of her and began incanting. The language of the Old Religion echoed in Mordred's brain. As the meaning of the words sank in, his blood ran cold and he was filled with terror.

" _Blood to blood, I bind you._

_Your will I bend to mine._

_Until your destiny is fulfilled,_

_You will be mine to command."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…I'm evil. Or Morgana is, take your pick. Or both. Thoughts? Leave a comment and let me know! I think this is the longest chapter so far. I tried to use an Old English translator on Morgana's spell at the end, but it wouldn't do it properly, so I decided to just give you the English translation.


	8. A Fate Enforced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights to Merlin and its characters belong to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: This chapter has some time skips, but the stuff skipped is basically just stuff that happened in the show. As always, italics are used for dialogue taken from the show and for dreams.

As Morgana's spell took hold of Mordred's mind, all emotions left him. Fear, anger, grief, guilt, anguish: all evaporated like dew under a scorching sun. Nothing seemed real. It was as if the entire world was just a dream.

Then he heard the voice, "Take up your sword, Mordred." That voice…. That voice had to be obeyed. Mordred didn't know why, he just knew that it was very _very_ important that he did what the voice said.

He turned toward the voice and saw a woman holding out a sword toward him. He felt vaguely that he knew the woman, but it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that he obeyed her. He took the sword in his hand.

The woman smiled, "Excellent."

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The dreamlike state remained throughout the day. Mordred was only vaguely aware of his surroundings. When night came he was led to a bedchamber and given nightclothes. He undressed and put the nightclothes on and got into the bed, hardly aware what he was doing. Then he fell asleep. Except it felt more like waking up.

_The dream seemed far more real than anything else had that day. Mordred was awake and alert and aware of his surroundings. It wasn't the nightmare that had plagued him for the last weeks. Mordred found himself in a meadow. It was the most beautiful, peaceful place he had ever seen._

_He felt he was being watched, but the feeling didn't alarm him. Instinctively he knew that whoever was watching him had no hostile intent. He turned slowly._

_A woman stood a few paces away. The first thing Mordred's mind registered was the Druidic clothes she wore and the familiar tattoo on her collarbone that marked her as a Druid. Then his eyes found her face. It was a face he recognized instantly, though he had last seen it when he was six-years-old._

_His knees went weak, "Mother!"_

_She smiled at him, her eyes full of warmth and love, "Hello, Mordred." She opened her arms and Mordred stumbled forward, closing the few feet between them. His mother held him close and Mordred felt like a little boy again. He felt safer than he had for a long time. For several moments neither spoke._

_At last Mordred pulled away, "Mother, I don't understand. How are you here?"_

_His mother smiled, "I am here because you need me."_

_Mordred bowed his head, "I've failed, mother. I've failed everyone. My friends are in terrible danger because of me."_

_His mother reached up and cupped Mordred's cheek in her hand. "Hush, child. Do not fear. Look at me, son. I have come to give you a message: Your darkest moment is coming. But even in that moment, have hope, for all is not lost."_

_Mordred stared down into her eyes, bewildered, "What do you mean? What's going to happen?"_

_His mother shook her head, "That is all I can say. I must go now, my love, but remember my words."_

_Mordred felt a surge of desperation, "No, mother, don't go! I need you!"_

_She stretched up to kiss his forehead, "I am always with you, my son. I am so proud of you." The dream began to dissolve around him. The last thing he heard before it faded away was his mother's voice, "Remember…"_

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Merlin entered Gaius' quarters. It was late and he was exhausted and worried. There had been no sign of Mordred since the young man went missing. No clues as to where Morgana had taken him or what she might be doing to him. Merlin knew that Arthur wanted to ride out himself and not come back until he had found the young knight. But reports had been coming in for weeks that Morgana was gathering together an army, and Arthur didn't feel he could leave Camelot in such dangerous times.

Of course Merlin's reasons for worrying about Mordred went beyond those of Arthur and the knights. He worried about Mordred for his own sake, of course, in the time since Mordred had overheard his conversation with Kilgharrah, Merlin had come to consider the young man a friend. But the matter of Mordred's fate also weighed heavily on his mind. He knew that fulfilling his fate was the last thing Mordred wanted, but now that he was in Morgana's clutches…. Morgana had enchanted Gwen into hating Arthur, she had once made Merlin himself try to kill Arthur. The more time went by with no news of Mordred's whereabouts, the more Merlin's fear grew.

He was so tired, and so busy worrying, that he didn't notice anything amiss as he passed through Gaius' quarters and climbed the staircase that led to his own room. He collapsed onto his bed, one arm hanging over the side. A strange hissing sound filled the room. Merlin sat up in bed, looking around the room nervously. Suddenly something flew through the air and attached itself to his face.

Merlin struggled with it desperately, his heart racing. He could feel the creature feeding on him, draining him somehow.

He managed to throw it off. He stared across the room at it in mingled horror and disgust, gasping for breath. The creature flew toward him once more.

It never reached him. In midair a shovel hit it and it fell down onto Merlin's bed. Gaius, who had entered the room while Merlin was struggling with the creature, hit it with the shovel again. It shuddered then lay still. Gaius hurried over to Merlin.

" _Merlin!"_ The physician's voice was frantic. Merlin looked up at him dazedly and saw that he had a cut on his head.

" _Gaius. Your head."_ Merlin pointed to the cut, " _You...You should get that seen to_." With that, he passed out.

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When he woke he was lying in his bed and Gaius was wiping his forehead with a cloth.

" _Merlin!"_ Gaius exclaimed in relief, seeing that his ward was awake. Merlin looked up at him.

" _What happened? What was that thing?"_

Gaius looked grim, _"Morgana's work, that's for sure."_

Merlin's eyes widened, "Do you think she knows? Who I am, I mean? What I can do? Do you think Mordred told her?"

Gaius nodded with a weary sigh, "I do not believe the boy would tell her willingly, but you and I both know Morgana has ways of making people talk." Gaius looked away and Merlin knew he was remembering how Alator had forced him to reveal Merlin's identity to him. Gaius seemed to shake the memory off and looked at merlin again, " _We can only be grateful that she failed."_

Gaius stood and began to walk toward the door. Merlin suddenly realized how thirsty he was, his mouth felt as dry as a desert. There was a cup of water on the table next to him, but it was out of his reach. Merlin couldn't find the energy to get up.

" _Strangath_ ," he muttered, extending his arm. He waited for the cup to come zooming towards him, but nothing happened. Merlin's heart began to race.

He lifted his head, " _Strangath."_ Nothing happened.

" _Strangath."_ Still nothing.

"Gaius!" Merlin called, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Gaius walked over and sat back down in the chair by Merlin's bed.

" _I don't think she failed."_ Merlin could hear desperation beginning to leak into his own voice.

" _Whatever do you mean?"_ Gaius asked.

Merlin turned his head to look at him, _"I've lost my magic."_

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 _Camlann._ From the moment Percival mentioned the name, Merlin had felt sick with fear. It was as if all the pieces of a puzzle were coming together, and the picture they were forming was too terrible to comprehend. Morgana taking Merlin's magic had only been the beginning. Now that she had rendered Merlin helpless, she had begun her attack on Camelot. A war had begun. Mordred was still missing, still presumably held captive by Morgana, and now Arthur planned to go to Camlann, where it was prophesied he would meet his downfall.

Merlin knew what he must do. He must regain his magic at all costs. And to do that he had to journey to the Crystal Cave. He had spoken to Gaius, then enlisted Gwaine to accompany him. The hardest part had been telling Arthur that he wouldn't be joining him on his journey.

Arthur had seen through Merlin's excuse about picking herbs for Gaius. He hadn't understood, couldn't possibly have understood why Merlin wasn't going with him. In the beginning, when they had first met, Arthur had scoffed at the idea of Merlin going into danger with him, now, after all these years, it was just a given that Merlin would always be at his side, no matter what. That's what made it so hard for Merlin to do what he had to do.

" _I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. Guess I was wrong."_ Arthur's words had hurt more than Merlin cared to admit. He had desperately wanted to tell Arthur that he wasn't abandoning him, that he wasn't acting out of fear, that he _would_ be there for him, he just had to go somewhere else first. But there was no way he could have ever explained it in a way that Arthur would have accepted. So he had said nothing.

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A moment before, a battle had raged. Then the sorcerer had appeared. Now it seemed the battle was over. Arthur swiftly cut down the Saxon he had been fighting, then looked around. People ran past him. The enemy was in retreat. A wounded knight laying on the ground lifted his arm weakly.

Arthur hurried to his side, but even as he reached him the man died.

As he knelt at the man's side, Arthur heard footsteps behind him. He turned and rose swiftly, drawing his sword just in time to block a blow from another. His eyes widened in shock as he saw who wielded it.

"Mordred!" Arthur's initial reaction was relief. Mordred was alive! Then the situation sunk in. Mordred had just tried to attack him.

"Mordred…" Arthur's gaze swept over the young knight, who was clad in black armor, "What are you doing?"

Mordred didn't answer. His eyes were blank, devoid of recognition, of emotion, of anything.

He raised his sword. Arthur reached for his own, but his reaction was slowed by surprise and confusion. Mordred's blade pierced his armor. Then he pulled the blade free and Arthur sank to his knees.

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Mordred felt as if he were waking from a deep sleep. For a moment he gazed around vacantly, unable to understand his surroundings. He was on a battlefield. He realized that he was gripping a sword in his hand and looked down at it. The blade was stained with blood. The sight made his own blood run cold. Slowly, he lifted his eyes from the blade and took in the scene in front of him. He found himself looking directly into the eyes of someone he knew all too well. Someone who had fallen to his knees on the ground in front of Mordred, blood seeping from a wound in his side.

Mordred felt terror fill him, "Arthur!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're halfway through! Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.


	9. A Fate Challenged: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! If you celebrate Christmas that is.
> 
> Disclaimer: Yfel âðollan nealles brûcan Merlin. That's Old English for: I do not own Merlin.
> 
> A/N: As always italics are used for spells, thoughts, and dialogue taken directly from the show. The spells used are taken from the show.

This couldn't be real. Mordred's mind was a blur of panic. _This can't be real. This can't be happening. It's just the old nightmare again…._

But he knew it wasn't. This nightmare was all too real.

Mordred dropped to his knees beside his king.

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Arthur knew he should be concerned about the wound in his side. He couldn't feel any pain, which he knew meant he was going into shock. But instead of concern or fear, all Arthur felt was bewilderment. He had watched Mordred after the young knight had stabbed him. As soon as he had pulled the sword free from Arthur's side, the blank look in Mordred's eyes had vanished. It had been replaced first by confusion, then Mordred had seen Arthur and a look of complete horror came over his face.

"Arthur!" Mordred's voice had been desperate.

Arthur watched as Mordred dropped to his knees by Arthur's side. The young knight was crying.

Arthur was finding it hard to think straight, but he knew that this was very strange behavior given the fact that Mordred had just stabbed him.

"Mordred…what?" He found he couldn't manage more than the two words. Mordred seemed to understand what he was asking, though he seemed to be having almost as much trouble speaking as Arthur, "Morgana…she enchanted me." Mordred swallowed hard, "I'm…I'm going to try to heal you."

Mordred reached out and placed his hand over Arthur's wound.

" _Ic hæle þina þrowunga_." Mordred's eyes flashed gold and Arthur instinctively leapt back, although since he was on his knees only the upper part of his body moved.

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The spell didn't work. Mordred knew that it wasn't that he hadn't performed it correctly. The way Arthur had recoiled when his eyes flashed gold proved that. No, the magic was simply not powerful enough to heal Arthur's wound. If this had been any other moment the fact that he had just used magic in front of Arthur would have terrified Mordred, but what did that matter now? What did anything matter now? Mordred felt a wave of helplessness overtake him. He had known, in the back of his mind, that no simple healing spell could heal a wound from a sword forged in a dragon's flame, but now that it had been confirmed he felt as if all was lost.

_All is lost…_

But as he thought those words, as the fear and despair threatened to overwhelm him, a memory broke through the raging emotions.

His mother's voice seemed to echo in his mind, " _Remember…. Your darkest moment is coming. But even in that moment, have hope, for all is not lost."_ And the tiniest spark of hope entered his heart.

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Merlin walked swiftly though the battlefield, still disguised as an old man, trying to shut the image of the dead bodies strewn everywhere out of his mind. He couldn't focus on that right now, he had to find Arthur.

His eyes found Mordred first. The Druid was clad in black armor and a black cloak and he knelt by the side of a familiar figure in red and silver. _Arthur._

Merlin ran toward them, his heart racing in fear.

"Mordred!" At Merlin's voice Mordred lifted his head and met Merlin's eyes uncomprehendingly, clearly not recognizing him.

_What have you done?_ Merlin had been about to demand, but the words died on his tongue at the expression on the younger man's face, an expression that spoke of guilt, fear, and despair.

"What… What happened?" Merlin rasped instead.

He saw a spark of recognition in Mordred's eyes, followed by a flash of hope, "Merlin! Morgana enchanted me. She put me under her control and I…" He swallowed hard and gestured to Arthur.

Merlin fought the desperation that was filling his own heart, "is he…?" he couldn't finish the sentence.

Mordred shook his head, "No, but I couldn't heal him. The blade…it was forged in a dragon's flame."

Merlin forced away the panic, "Come. It isn't safe here. We must get him somewhere better hidden." Mordred nodded. Together he and Merlin lifted Arthur and began to carry him off the battlefield.

At the edge of the battlefield they met Gaius. The physician accompanied them as they found a clearing in the woods here they could hide, at least for a short time, then hurried off to try to find healing herbs.

After doing his best to arrange Arthur in as comfortable a position as possible, Merlin shed his disguise and started a campfire. He sat down close to Arthur. Mordred, who hadn't said a word since they had left the battlefield stood a few paces off.

Merlin turned to him, "Come over here by the fire, Mordred."

After a moment's hesitation Mordred walked over and took a seat next to Merlin. However he didn't meet Merlin's eyes, instead staring into the flames of the campfire as if hoping he would find something there.

Merlin kept his tone soft, "Tell me what happened. Everything, from the beginning." For a few moments, Mordred gave no sign that he had heard Merlin's words, but then, just as Merlin had decided that the young man wasn't going to answer, he began to speak, still staring into the flames.

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Mordred found it almost impossible to begin speaking, but once he did it was as if a dam burst and he couldn't have stopped himself from continuing if he had tried. He told Merlin of Kara's betrayal, how Morgana had been waiting for him when he went to Kara in the woods, he told him of the _Veritas_ tincture, of watching Ari's magic being drained away, of the terrible spell Morgana had cast on him, even of his dream of his mother. Finally he related how he had woken from the enchantment on the battlefield and realized what he had done. At this point he turned at last to meet Merlin's eyes, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were again wet on his cheeks, "It never mattered, did it? It never mattered what I wanted… it never mattered how hard I tried to fight my fate…. I was always destined to be a traitor."

"No." Merlin said sharply. His eyes were fierce as they met Mordred's, "The moment at Camlann I saw in my vision could not be altered, that is true, but you are _not_ a traitor, Mordred. Morgana is to blame for this, not you. Besides-" The sorcerer's blue eyes blazed in the firelight, "Arthur is _not_ dead. We _will_ save him, Mordred. It is as your mother said, we must have hope."

And meeting Merlin's fierce gaze, Mordred could only nod.

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Merlin could see that the emotional turmoil of the day, as well as the physical strain of fighting in the battle, had left Mordred exhausted. He told him to get some rest while they waited for Gaius to return. At first, Mordred protested, but Merlin insisted and at last Mordred relented, lying down on one side of the campfire. He fell asleep almost instantly.

Merlin crossed to the opposite side of the clearing from where he had sat before, turning his back to the campfire to keep an eye on the woods and watch for Gaius' return.

Because of this, when Arthur woke Merlin didn't realize it until the king spoke, " _Merlin."_

Merlin hurried to Arthur's side, _"How are you feeling?"_

Arthur put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and attempted to sit up, but the movement made him cry out in pain.

" _Lie back. Lie back_." Merlin ordered, clasping Arthur's arm with one hand and placing the other on his shoulder.

" _Where have you been?"_ Arthur asked.

" _It doesn't matter now,"_ Merlin said softly.

" _Ah, my side...my side."_ Arthur gasped in pain.

Merlin glanced at the wound, " _You're bleeding."_

" _That's all right. I thought I was dying."_ Merlin swallowed hard at Arthur's attempt to make light of things.

" _I'm sorry. I thought I'd defied the prophecy. I thought I was in time."_

" _What are you talking about?"_ Arthur asked, in the tone he always used when he though Merlin was speaking nonsense.

" _I defeated the saxons. The dragon. And yet..."_ Merlin glanced over to where Mordred slept, "And yet I knew where the real danger lay."

" _The person who defeated them was the sorcerer."_ Arthur patted Merlin's shoulder as if to reassure him.

" _It was me."_ Merlin tried and failed to keep back tears as he admitted what he had kept hidden for so long.

" _Don't be ridiculous Merlin."_ When Merlin didn't respond a note of tension entered Arthur's tone, _"This is stupid, why would you say that?"_

" _I'm a-"_ Merlin had to stop and force the words out through the tears, _"I'm a sorcerer. I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur. Only for you."_

" _Merlin, you are not a sorcerer. I would know!"_ Arthur's voice was confident.

" _Look. Here."_ As Merlin turned toward the fire he noticed that at some point during his conversation with Arthur, Mordred had woken up. He had raised his head slightly and was watching and listening silently from where he lay. Arthur did not seem to have noticed Mordred's presence at all, although to be fair the black armor the young knight wore _did_ blend into the shadows.

Merlin held out his hand toward the fire, _"Upastige draca!"_ Sparks rose from the fire and formed a dragon, which flapped its wings. Merlin looked toward Arthur. The king stared first at the dragon, then at Merlin. He seemed to be struggling with his emotions. He looked away from Merlin, and when he looked back there was a hint of fear in his gaze that made Merlin feel as if he had been punched in the stomach.

" _Leave me."_ Arthur ordered.

" _Arthur!"_ Merlin began to protest.

" _No."_ Arthur interrupted him, _"Just...you heard! Just..."_

Pain twisting his heart, Merlin rose to his feet. He glanced over at Mordred, who met his eyes gravely. Merlin knew that Mordred understood, better than anyone, how Merlin was feeling at the moment. It didn't make it better exactly, but it did make him feel as if he wasn't quite so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to split the direct aftermath of the battle into two parts. It's not because I enjoy tormenting you, I promise, it's simply that I feel otherwise it'll be way longer than the other chapters. So here is part one, and you can expect part two next Monday. Until then, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought. Do you love Mordred and Merlin comforting each other as much as I do? A burden shared is a burden halved, and all that.


	10. A Fate Challenged: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights to Merlin belong to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: Thanks to everyone who has commented, bookmarked, or left kudos. Remember, italics = Dialogue from the show, spells, or thoughts; {} = telepathic speech.
> 
> I've skipped over some parts of the journey to Avalon; if its not in the story, just assume it happened basically the same as in the show, but with Mordred there.

When Gaius arrived, Arthur was pretending to sleep. It was easier than facing the two sorcerer's who currently sat a few feet away from him. The fact that Mordred had magic hadn't really come as much of a surprise, Arthur had assumed as much when he had remembered that Mordred was a Druid. But the idea that Merlin, _Merlin_ who had been at Arthur's side for nearly every waking moment for so many years had had magic all along… it was as if Arthur's world had been turned upside down.

Arthur half-listened to the discussion between Merlin and Gaius about herbs. Then Gaius sent Merlin and Mordred to water the horses.

Arthur cracked his eyes open to make sure they were gone, then grabbed Gaius' robes, " _He's a sorcerer_ , they're both sorcerers." Gaius just looked down at Arthur, not saying anything.

Arthur's eyes widened in realization, " _You knew."_

 _Gaius sighed, "_ Arthur, they're your friends."

Arthur turned his head away, " _I want him gone_ ; I want both of them gone."

"You have no reason to fear them."

" _Have_ them _take word to Camelot. To Guinevere._ "

Gaius shook his head, " _You cannot send Merlin._ And Mordred must stay with you, as well, as much for his own sake as for yours. He blames himself for your injury, he will not leave your side until you are healed. _I will go._ "

" _I need a physician right now, not a sorcerer."_ Arthur insisted.

Gaius regarded him seriously, "Merlin _can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur, he doesn't just have magic...there are those who say he's the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth."_

Arthur had thought nothing else could surprise him after what he had already learned, but he couldn't keep the incredulity from his voice, " _Merlin?!"_

" _If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me."_

It was too much to take in, the idea that clumsy, goofy, perpetually late, merlin was the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth. It was ridiculous. Then Arthur remembered what the old sorcerer had done during the battle. If that really had been Merlin…

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Mordred kept his eyes fixed on the horse's neck as Gaius approached them.

Merlin turned towards Gaius, _"Gaius?"_

" _He has a fragment of sword embedded in his chest."_ The physician reported. Mordred flinched.

" _Then we'll use magic to draw to it out."_ Merlin replied.

"It won't work." Mordred said dully, eyes still fixed on the horse, "The sword was forged in a dragon's breath."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gaius nod grimly, _"Its fatal power will not be easily denied. The blade's point is travelling inexorably towards his heart. Not even you could hope to thwart such magic_ , Merlin. _It would take a power as ancient as the dragons themselves."_

" _No. There must be something that we can do, Gaius." Merlin's voice was desperate._ Mordred turned his head slightly to look at Gaius, hoping desperately that the physician would have an answer.

Gaius glanced toward Arthur, " _Only the Sidhe possess such magic. In the midst of the Lake Of Avalon there is an ancient isle. That is the source of their power. You must take him there."_

Mordred felt a faint stirring of hope in his heart.

Merlin looked toward Arthur, _"He won't allow that."_

" _He will."_ Gaius said softly, _"I spoke to him."_

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Arthur watched as Merlin struggled to light the fire. Their journey had been mostly uneventful. They had had a run-in with a group of Saxons, but Merlin had defeated them easily with his magic.

Mordred stood a few paces away, his back to the others, keeping watch. He had spoken very little since they had begun their journey, but the way he seemed unable to meet Arthur's eyes spoke volumes. Arthur knew he should speak to Mordred, tell him he didn't blame him for what he'd done under Morgana's enchantment, but something held him back, something related to the part of him that was very much Uther's son, the part that whispered that whether he had been enchanted or not, Mordred was a sorcerer and that alone meant that he could not be trusted.

Arthur looked again at Merlin, who still hadn't managed to light the fire, " _Why don't you use magic?"_

" _Habit, I suppose."_ Merlin looked over at Arthur, a question in his eyes. Arthur nodded, finding himself morbidly curious. Merlin turned back to the fire and an instant later it ignited.

" _Feels strange,"_ he muttered.

" _Yeah,"_ Arthur agreed. He watched as Merlin stood up and walked over to their bags.

" _I thought I knew you."_ That was the real issue here, Arthur knew, as much as he might try to deny it to himself, not that Merlin had magic, but that Merlin had lied to him from the moment they had met.

Merlin didn't answer for a moment, instead taking his blanket out of the bag and unrolling it.

" _I'm still the same person."_

" _I trusted you."_ Arthur said. _But you never trusted me…_ He shoved the thought away angrily. What did he care whether a sorcerer trusted him or not?

Merlin looked over at him, " _I'm sorry."_

" _I'm sorry too."_ Arthur said. He wasn't entirely sure himself what he meant by the words. _I'm sorry you're a sorcerer? I'm sorry I ever trusted you? I'm sorry that you never trusted me?_ There it was again, the thought that kept coming back no matter how hard he tried to shove it away.

Merlin walked over to Arthur and began to pull his boots off.

Arthur frowned, " _What are you doing?"_

" _They need drying,"_ Merlin answered simply, as if nothing had changed between them, as if he was the same Merlin he had always been, rather than this stranger, this sorcerer that Arthur didn't know what to think of.

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Merlin brought a bowl of stew over to Arthur. He lifted Arthur's head and held a spoon to his mouth, _"This will be good for you."_ Arthur didn't respond.

" _You need to eat."_ Merlin insisted.

" _Why are you doing this?"_ Arthur asked, unable to stop himself, _"Why are you still behaving like a servant?"_

_Merlin set the bowl aside._

" _It's my destiny,"_ he answered, with a faint smile, _"As it has been since the day we met."_

" _I tried to take your head off with a mace."_ Arthur pointed out, remembering the mixture of surprise, annoyance, and amusement he had felt at the fact that some scrawny peasant had the nerve to mouth off to him.

Merlin's voice was amused, _"And I stopped you, using magic."_

Suddenly it all made sense, the way everything had seemed to go wrong and what should have been as easy fight had turned into a humiliating near-defeat, _"You cheated."_

Merlin just grinned, _"You were going to kill me."_

" _I should've."_ Arthur muttered. It wasn't said in the teasing tone he would have used at any other time, but nor did he truly mean it.

Merlin's face grew serious, _"I'm glad you didn't."_

He leaned towards Arthur, _"I do this because of who you are."_

At Merlin's tone, Arthur couldn't help but meet his eyes. It was a tone Merlin didn't use often, but when he did, the words he spoke had a strange wisdom to them.

" _Without you, Camelot's nothing,"_ Merlin continued.

" _There was a time when that was true."_ Arthur shook his head slightly, _"Not now. There are many who can fill the crown."_

Merlin smiled faintly again, " _There will never be another like you, Arthur."_ Arthur didn't k ow how to respond to that.

Merlin reached down for the bowl he had set aside, _"Now I also do this…"_ he spooned some of the stew into Arthur's mouth, _"because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you."_

Arthur didn't respond, but nor did he protest as Merlin continued to feed him the stew. After a moment Merlin glanced toward Mordred, who was again standing with his back to them, staring into the trees.

xxxxxxxx

"You should come and eat too, Mordred."

Mordred didn't turn at the sound of Merlin's voice.

"I'm not hungry." he muttered.

"Mordred, come and eat." Merlin's voice was firm.

"I don't have to listen to you." Mordred knew his words were childish, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stand to face his friends, to face Arthur.

{Really?}Merlin's voice suddenly sounded in his head, {Didn't you tell me once that the Druids considered themselves honor-bound to obey the wishes of Emrys?} His tone was light and teasing.

{That is _entirely_ unfair,} Mordred protested, but despite himself he couldn't keep a hint of amusement out of his mental tone as he relented, turning and walking over to the center of the campsite.

Merlin laughed, handing Mordred a bowl of stew as the knight sat down next to him.

Arthur's eyes darted back and forth between the two.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm missing something?" he asked, his tone colored with annoyance.

"Arthur, you're always missing something," Merlin retorted, and for a moment everything was normal. Then Mordred's eyes fell on the wound in Arthur's side and he dropped his gaze, once again feeling shame burn through him.

"Mordred." Arthur addressed him for the first time since the journey had begun.

Mordred kept his eyes on the ground, "Yes, Sire?" The words were stiff and formal, not betraying any of the emotions that raged through him.

"It wasn't your fault. Morgana enchanted you." Mordred didn't respond. He heard Arthur sigh in exasperation.

"Do you blame Guinevere for the things she did when she was under Morgana's spell?"

The words surprised Mordred enough that he jerked his head up and met Arthur's eyes, "Of course not! The queen would never do such things intentionally."

Arthur gave him a look that was half triumph, half exasperation, "So how is this any different?"

 _Because it wasn't the queen's destiny to be your downfall…_ Mordred thought, but nevertheless he felt slightly more cheerful.

xxxxxxxx

Gwaine watched out the window as Eira was led to the gallows. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Percival behind him.

Looking back at Eira, Gwaine felt a sudden reckless anger, "You know what you said you'd do if you ever found Morgana? Well, we've got a good idea where she'll be heading."

He began to stride determinedly down the hall. Percival started to follow, then suddenly stopped and caught Gwaine by the shoulder, "Gwaine, wait."

Gwaine turned to him, annoyed, "What?! You were the one who said…"

Percival held up a hand, "I know what I said, but with what happened with the queen and what Gaius told us about Mordred… it just seems to me as if Morgana has become an expert at using Arthur's friends against him."

After a moment Gwaine's shoulders slumped, "All right, all right, I see your point…"

xxxxxxxx

" _Arthur, you need to hold on. One more day."_ Merlin wiped Arthur's forehead with a cloth.

Arthur turned his head to meet Merlin's eyes, " _Why did you never tell me?"_

" _I wanted to, but..."_ Merlin trailed off.

" _What?"_ Arthur asked.

" _You'd have chopped my head off."_ Merlin held a waterskin to Arthur's mouth and Arthur drank.

" _I'm not sure what I would've done."_ he admitted.

" _And I didn't want to put you in that position."_ Merlin replied softly.

" _That's what worried you?"_ Arthur asked in amazement.

Merlin smiled a little, _"Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me, I was born to serve you, Arthur. And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing."_

Arthur stared at Merlin, at a loss for words.

" _Ready?"_ Merlin asked. Arthur nodded and Merlin helped him to his feet. Mordred came to join them. He had again been standing a little way apart from the others, though this time Arthur had a feeling that it was more to allow Arthur and Merlin a sense of privacy then anything else.

xxxxxxxx

"Why have they not come?" The anger in Morgana's voice made those around her shuffle their feet wearily and exchange timid glances.

She shook her head in disgust, "the message must have been false. Our spy must have been discovered."

She began to pace, "So then where are they now? How can I find them?"

One of her men, a Druid, stepped forward, clearing his throat. Morgana stopped pacing, her eyes snapping to him, "What?"

The man bowed nervously, "My lady, I just had a thought…"

"Well get on with it!" Morgana snapped impatiently.

The man flinched, "Perhaps the king did not escape the battle unscathed as we believed. If Mordred did indeed strike Arthur a blow with a sword forged in a dragon's breath, then I can think of but one place where Emrys would take him… Avalon."

Morgana's eyes widened, "Of course…" she breathed, a slow smile spreading across her face.

xxxxxxxx

Arthur was growing weaker by the hour, but Avalon was in sight. The three travelers stopped briefly to rest.

Merlin looked toward Avalon, _"Avalon. We'll get there."_

Suddenly the horses reared and took off, with frantic whinnies trailing behind them. Mordred and Merlin both scrambled up to try to stop them.

Then a cold voice spoke behind them, _"Hello, Emrys." Morgana_.

Both men froze. As they turned to face her she threw Merlin backwards with a flash of her eyes.

Mordred hurried to stand between Morgana and Arthur, who was reaching for a sword which wasn't there.

Morgana smirked, "I admit I didn't expect to see you here, Mordred. When I learned my dear brother still lived I assumed you had been cut down before you could fulfill your destiny. Wat a joy it is to know your task was completed after all, or at least it will be soon enough." As she cast a scornful glance at Arthur, Mordred saw a flicker of movement behind her and felt hope flare in his heart. Merlin was awake!

He locked his eyes on Morgana's, knowing he had to keep her talking and focused on him, "You're wrong." he said quietly.

She laughed, "You'll never make it to Avalon, Mordred. I'll make sure of that."

She sneered at him, "You see what comes of choosing the wrong side? There's your great king, dying at your feet. I defeated the great Emrys with a flick of my hand. Oh…" she smiled cruelly, "And your sweetheart, Kara? She's dead. Cut down by one of Arthur's men, the same men you call your _brothers."_

Mordred swallowed hard, "Kara chose her path, as I chose mine."

Morgana simply laughed again, "You could never hope to defeat me, Mordred."

"Oh, I know." Mordred agreed quietly, as from the corner of his eye he saw Merlin draw _Excalibur_ from among their bags.

"But I don't need to defeat you," he continued in a conversational tone, "I just need to distract you." Confusion crossed Morgana's face.

Behind her, Merlin raised _Excalibur_ , _"The time for all this blood shed is over,_ Morgana."

Morgana turned slowly to face him.

" _I blame myself for what you have become,"_ Merlin said sadly, _"but this has to end."_

" _I am a High Priestess."_ Morgana said coldly, _"No mortal blade can kill me."_

She gasped as Merlin thrust the sword forward, piercing her stomach.

" _This is no mortal blade. Like yours, it was forged in a dragon's breath."_ Merlin lowered Morgana to the ground and withdrew the sword. He looked down at her for a moment, _"Goodbye, Morgana."_

Mordred felt a flash of grief as he stared down at the still face of the woman who had once been something akin to a mother to him.

" _You've brought peace at last."_ Arthur murmured as Merlin and Mordred helped him up.

Merlin looked at Mordred as they began to walk, supporting Arthur, who was dragging _Excalibur_.

"I'm sorry." he said softly. Mordred knew he was referring to the news Morgana had brought about Kara.

He shook his head, his voice thick, "The Kara I knew, the girl I once loved… she died a long time ago. The woman she had become was a stranger to me."

Merlin nodded slightly, _"We have to make it to the lake."_

Arthur stumbled, falling to the ground. "It's too late. We'll never make it… not without the horses."

"Yes, we will." Merlin's face was set.

"No." Arthur's voice was calm. He looked up, meeting first Mordred's eyes, then Merlin's, "Neither of you are to blame yourselves for this, consider that an order."

"Shut up, Arthur." Merlin's voice was thick with emotion, "You're not going to die."

Arthur shook his head, "It's okay, Merlin. And Merlin… thank you." He slipped into unconsciousness and Mordred felt his heart twist in fear.

Merlin felt for Arthur's pulse, "He's still alive, but barely."

He turned his face to the sky, _"O drakon! E male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"_

A moment later the dragon Mordred had first seen in what seemed like another lifetime landed beside them.

The dragon's eyes landed on Mordred, "I warned you not to trust the Druid boy, Merlin."

"You were wrong." Merlin retorted, "Morgana enchanted Mordred. She forced him to attack Arthur."

The dragon's enormous eyes widened slightly, "If that is true…then perhaps there is still a chance."

Merlin exchanged a glance with Mordred, "What do you mean? What difference does it make?"

The dragon's gaze rested once more on Mordred, but his eyes had lost their hostility, "A blade forged in a dragon's breath is born of powerful magic. Such magic is bound by ancient laws. To take a life, no matter the circumstances, is the most serious act a man can commit. To force another to commit such an act against his will goes against the most ancient laws. Though still far more deadly than any other weapon, a dragon-forged blade could not obtain its full power while wielded by an unwilling hand. Arthur may yet be saved… but time is running short."

"Then you must take us to Avalon immediately." Merlin hurried to Arthur's side and Mordred followed. Together they lifted the king onto the dragon's back. Merlin quickly pulled himself up, and, taking a deep breath, Mordred followed suit.

Consumed with worry for Arthur, Mordred felt neither fear nor wonder as the dragon began to fly, but only a sense of urgency for the journey to end swiftly.

Dawn was breaking as they landed on the aisle of Avalon. Merlin and Mordred slid down off Kilgharrah's back, then lifted Arthur down. The dragon took off into the sky almost immediately.

They lay Arthur gently in the grass. Something about Avalon reminded Mordred of the meadow he had visited when he dreamt of his mother. But there was no time to think of that now.

xxxxxxxx

Mordred turned to Merlin, "What do we do now?"

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to center himself.

"Now we hope that my magic, added to the magic of Avalon, will be able to cure Arthur." He could feel the magic of Avalon around him now, powerful and ancient.

"Maybe I can help with that." Mordred ventured, "There is a spell I learned from the Druids, a spell that will allow me to use my magic to strengthen yours."

Merlin nodded. The two sorcerers knelt at Arthur's side. Mordred reached out to touch Merlin's arm, beginning a soft incantation and Merlin felt a surge of magic flow towards him. He opened himself up, drawing in not just Mordred's magic but the magic of Avalon.

He placed his hand over Arthur's wound and began to chant a spell of healing. He felt the magic surge through him and into Arthur. A silver shard slipped from Arthur's side and fell to the ground. Merlin continued chanting. Arthur's wound closed and color returned to his pale face.

Merlin finished the spell and a wave of exhaustion gripped him. Arthur's eyes flickered open. Merlin turned his head toward Mordred and the two sorcerers shared one instant of relief and joy before the exhaustion overtook both and they collapsed back into the grass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I've got a few things to say.
> 
> Firstly, confession time: The scene with Mordred's mother a couple chapters back was added almost entirely to provide you all with a hint that Arthur could be saved without making it too obvious. Also, the scene with Gwaine and Percival in this chapter was what I like to call, "How Mordred knowing his fate equates to Gwaine not dying."
> 
> Secondly, I hope my explanation of why Arthur isn't doomed makes sense and seems reasonable. I figured I needed some kind of explanation, rather than "Arthur lives because I say so", and that's what came up with.
> 
> Thirdly, while this story is far from over (six chapters left after this one), I wrote an alternate ending to it that begins near the end of this chapter. I'll be posting that after I post this chapter so feel free to check it out.
> 
> And finally, as always, please leave a commentand tell me what you thought! Oh, and this chapter is the longest by far, by the way. I think it's the longest I've ever written, not counting in "Reading the Books" type stories.


	11. A Fate Overcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, I have never owned Merlin, and unless something very strange happens I will never own Merlin.
> 
> A/N: I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter. I kind of struggled a bit in writing it. There are a few bits I really like though. Also, I wrote most of it on my phone. Thoughts are in italics; telepathic speech is in these: {}.

The first thing Arthur noticed when he woke was the absence of pain. He reached down to touch the wound in his side. His hand quickly found the gash in his armor, but the skin underneath felt unbroken and nearly entirely smooth. Arthur pushed himself into a sitting position and craned his neck around to see the wound. It was gone, the only evidence it had ever been there a faint scar and the gash in his armor, the area around it stained dark by his blood.

Arthur wondered if he was dead. He lifted his head to take in his surroundings. The place he found himself in was beautiful and completely unfamiliar. It was, Arthur thought, the kind of place you would expect to find yourself in in the afterlife.

He turned his head to look around, half expecting to see his father, storming over to scold him. He could almost hear Uther's voice in his mind, " _You see? You see what happens when you knight men who are not of noble blood? A sorcerer a knight of Camelot! A sorcerer serving as your manservant! You have allowed sorcery to overrun my kingdom!"_

Arthur turned his head in the other direction and the imagined voice of his father was driven from his head as a jolt of alarm shot through him.

A few inches away from Arthur, Merlin and Mordred were both sprawled on the ground. After a moment of panic, Arthur realized that he could see their chests rising and falling and hear the faint sound of deep, even breathing.

The pieces began falling into place in Arthur's mind. He wasn't dead. Not unless Mordred and Merlin were too, which he refused to even consider. So if this wasn't the afterlife, then it must be Avalon. Arthur had been sure they would never reach the place in time to save him, but he had obviously been wrong. He could only assume that Merlin and Mordred's current state of unconsciousness was the result of whatever they had done to heal him.

Once he realized that the two sorcerers were unharmed Arthur was relieved that they were asleep. He needed time to think things through.

He rose to his feet and began to pace.

Merlin and Mordred were sorcerers. Part of Arthur wanted to just pretend he didn't know and act like nothing had changed, but he knew that was impossible. Everything had changed. He could see only three possible options for what he was to do next.

He could have them executed. His father would have done it without hesitation.

The very idea made Arthur feel sick to his stomach. When he had woken to find Merlin and Mordred unconscious, his only thought had been concern for them. And before, when he had discovered that Mordred had been taken by Morgana, fear for his well-being had driven all thought of the fact that Mordred was a Druid out of Arthur's head.

" _All sorcerers must be put to death. No exceptions,"_ his father's voice echoed in his head, but Arthur knew that was one order he'd rather die than give.

He could banish them. The idea was almost as unpleasant as the idea of having them executed. Arthur felt as if there was a war being waged inside of him.

 _They're sorcerers._ One part of him insisted.

 _They're my friends_. Another part retorted.

_They lied to you. They can't be trusted._

_They've both saved my life more than once. Merlin may have saved all of Camelot. What kind of king would I be if I repaid that by banishing them?_

_What kind of king would you be if you ignored the law?_

Which brought him to the third option. He couldn't ignore the law… but he _could_ change it. He could lift the ban on magic. Arthur could scarcely believe he was even considering it.

 _Sorcery is evil. It corrupts everyone it touches. Magic would destroy Camelot if we allowed it to enter our kingdom._ Once again, his father's voice filled his head. For most of his life Arthur had accepted his teachings without question.

And yet…

Another voice echoed in his head, _"There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. My request is that you remember this."_

And he heard his own voice answer, " _You have my word."_

_Morgana's sorcery nearly destroyed Camelot._

_And Merlin's sorcery saved it._

_Sorcery is evil._

Arthur's hand found the healed wound in his side. He heard Merlin's voice in his head. " _I use it for you, Arthur, only for you."_

He wondered how many times Merlin had used magic to save him, to save Camelot, and Arthur had never known.

It all came down to a choice. Did he hold to the ideals that his father had taught him? The ideals that he had upheld since he was a child? Or did he change the law, knowing that if he did things would never be the same?

Did he trust in his upbringing, in what he knew his father would want? Or did he listen to what his own heart was telling him?

Arthur stopped pacing. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. In the end, there was only one choice he could make.

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Mordred woke slowly. He raised his head and saw that beside him Merlin was also just waking up.

He sat up and looked around and saw Arthur not far off. The king was facing away from Mordred and Merlin, looking toward the mainland.

Mordred looked over at Merlin, who was watching Arthur with a look of mingled relief and apprehension.

Mordred was feeling the same things. At first he had felt only overwhelming relief that Arthur had been healed successfully.

But after the initial burst of relief faded slightly, apprehension began to creep in as he wondered what Arthur would do now.

{What do you think he'll do?} he called out to Merlin in his mind, {About us having magic?}

Merlin shook his head. {I don't know.}

Mordred didn't believe Arthur would have them executed, that much he was certain of. What he feared wasn't that he would be punished by his king, he realized, but that he would be rejected by his friend.

He knew that as bad as the apprehension was for him, it must be much worse for Merlin, who had been by Arthur's side for years, and given up everything to protect him.

{Come on.} Merlin said with grim determination, pushing himself to his feet.

Mordred got up and followed Merlin over toward Arthur.

"How are you feeling, my lord?" Merlin called in a voice that would have seemed perfectly normal if Mordred hadn't known that Merlin rarely addressed Arthur so formally.

Arthur turned at the sound of his voice, "I'm fine. The two of you have been asleep for six hours." His voice was carefully neutral, hiding any emotions he may have been feeling, "Does that happen often when you do magic?"

Merlin shook his head.

"You didn't pass out when you defeated the Saxons." Arthur noted in the same neutral tone.

Merlin shrugged, "That was simple stuff. I've never fought that many before, but it was still basically simple magic. Healing is harder. It's like… the difference between picking up a club and hitting someone over the head and treating a head wound."

Arthur nodded. He opened his mouth to ask another question, then seemed to realize that he was displaying interest. He shut his mouth, pausing a moment before speaking again, "I should thank you, both of you. You saved my life."

Mordred shook his head slightly, "It was all Merlin, really."

Merlin rolled his eyes, "No it wasn't. I don't think I would have had enough power for a spell like that if you hadn't done that channeling spell, even with Avalon's magic added to my own."

Arthur crossed his arms, facing them, "So. Now the question is what do I do with the pair of you?"

Merlin and Mordred exchanged a nervous glance.

Arthur fixed his eyes on Mordred, "Have you used magic since you came to Camelot, besides on this journey?"

Mordred bowed his head slightly, "Yes, my lord, but very little."

"When?" Arthur asked.

"Once on the way to the Cauldron of Arianrhod."

Arthur's eyes widened slightly, a flash of understanding passing over his face, "Of course. That's how you escaped from Morgana.

Mordred nodded, "And then again when I was helping K-" Pain lanced through his heart as he started to say her name and he swallowed hard, "When I was helping the Druid girl."

Arthur nodded slightly, a flash of sympathy in his eyes. Then he looked at Merlin, "And you… you've been secretly using magic all along?"

Merlin nodded.

"Yes," he said quietly, "To protect you and to protect Camelot."

Arthur nodded. He looked at Mordred and Merlin in silence for a long moment before he spoke again. Mordred swallowed nervously.

"I cannot simply ignore the laws, but nor can I ignore the fact that without magic I and countless others would be dead. It seems to me that there's only one choice that I can make."

He took a deep breath as if steeling himself for something, then his mouth quirked into a small, wry smile, "I'm going to do something my father would never forgive me for. I'm going to legalize magic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought.


	12. A Fate Decided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights to Merlin belong to the BBC, I just play on their playground.
> 
> A/N: As usual thoughts and spells are italicized. I struggled to write this one at the beginning, then at the end it became easier. Thanks to everyone who has commented, bookmarked, or given kudos since last chapter!

_I'm going to legalize magic._

Time seemed to have ground to a halt as Arthur's words hung in the air around them. Mordred's mouth opened slightly but no words came out. A moment before he had been almost certain that Arthur was about to banish them, but now...

When he had first woken from Morgana's spell he had felt as if he was trapped in a nightmare. Now he again felt that he must be dreaming, but this time it was the kind of dream that you never wanted to wake up from.

Mordred glanced over at Merlin. The warlock was staring at Arthur with a thunderstruck expression, his mouth hanging open.

The silence seemed to stretch forever before Merlin finally broke it, "Truly?" his voice sounded hoarse, "Do you really mean that?"

Arthur blinked, "Of course I mean, it, _Merlin._ " he scoffed, "Do you think I'd say something like that if I wasn't serious?" The familiar, irritated tone of his voice broke the spell his announcement seemed to have cast over them. Mordred and Merlin both laughed, and after a moment Arthur joined in.

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Merlin couldn't seem to stop smiling. Arthur was alive! They were all alive! And Arthur was going to legalize magic! The day before it had seemed like everything was lost, and now suddenly it was as if everything was falling into place.

He could tell that Mordred was having similar feelings, though a hint of sadness lingered in the young Druid's eyes, reminding Merlin that their had been a price to pay for the things that were happening now. How high a price, Merlin didn't yet know, having embarked on this journey immediately after the battle.

"How are we going to get off this island?" Arthur's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Briefly, Merlin was tempted to summon Kilgharrah, if only to see the look on Arthur's face when the dragon appeared. But he doubted the old dragon would be very impressed if he was called up for such a simple errand.

"I can summon a boat." he said instead. He glanced at Arthur for approval and the king nodded once. Merlin turned toward the lake and extended his hand.

" _Naca, onwrêon!_ " A wooden boat, large enough to fit all three men comfortably, appeared, bobbing slightly on the water. Merlin glanced at Arthur to see his reaction, but the king's face was unreadable. It still felt incredibly strange to openly use magic in front of Arthur.

Arthur climbed into the boat and Merlin and Mordred followed.

" _Astýre_ ," Merlin murmured, and the boat began to move towards the shore.

Arthur looked at the other two, a serious expression on his face, "This won't be easy." he warned, and Merlin knew he was referring to changing the law, "There is much fear of magic in Camelot. We will have to proceed with caution." Arthur's tone was businesslike. Clearly he was attempting to treat this as if it was any other matter of state.

He looked at Mordred, "I would like to contact the Druids, could you help me with that?"

Mordred nodded, "Yes, Sire." He glanced at Merlin and Merlin could tell that it felt just as surreal to Mordred as it did to Merlin to be talking about these things to Arthur so openly.

xxxxxxxx

Guinevere stood at a window, staring down at the palace courtyard. There had been no news of her husband since Gaius had told her that Merlin and Mordred were taking him somewhere where he could be healed.

To say that the queen was worried would be an understatement. In the aftermath of the battle at Camlann, she was kept nearly constantly busy with various duties, and she was grateful for this. It didn't leave her much time to think and worry. But at night, when she was alone in the chambers she usually shared with Arthur, Gwen was left unable to sleep by worry and fear. She would pace her chambers, wondering where Arthur was now, whether he was all right, whether she would ever see him again.

Then there were the moments like now, moments between her duties, when Gwen would find herself staring out the window into the courtyard hoping desperately to see her husband walking through the gates-

Gwen gasped. Three figures had just entered the courtyard below: Merlin, looking the same as he always did, despite what Gwen believed she had learned about him from Gaius, Mordred, dressed in strange, dark armor, and walking between them, looking perfectly healthy and strong, _Arthur_.

Gwen turned from the window and began to run down the hallway, not caring in the slightest that she probably didn't look a bit like a queen at the moment.

She raced down the stairs, passing startled servants and knights, and out into the courtyard.

Arthur looked up a smile lighting his face as Guinevere ran toward him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Arthur!" she gasped, "You're alive! You're home! You're all right!"

Arthur smiled, "Of course I am."

And then he kissed her and for the first time since he had woken up and run from their tent muttering something about Merlin, Guinevere felt at peace.

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Mordred and Merlin walked ahead into the courtyard to give the king and queen some privacy.

Mordred looked over at Merlin and saw that the warlock was scrutinizing him with a strange expression on his face.

"What?" Mordred asked, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Merlin grinned, "I was just thinking… you look better in red."

Mordred stared at him for a moment then started to laugh, glancing down at the dark armor he was still wearing, "I don't even have a clue where all this came from." He waved his hand up and down to indicate the armor. He only had the vaguest memories of the things that had happened when he was under Morgana's spell. He thought he remembered her fastening a black cloak around his shoulders.

He rolled his eyes, "I suppose I'm meant to look villainous and intimidating." e tried to assume an appropriately cold and sinister stare but could only hold it for a moment before it melted into a grin.

"Right," Merlin said, holding back laughter, "You're very, _very_ intimidating. Or you might be, if you weren't grinning like a five-year-old."

Mordred attempted to look indignant, which only caused Merlin to burst out laughing, and Mordred joined in, laughing more fully and freely than he had in months.

xxxxxxxx

Mordred sat in his seat at the Round Table, his stomach clenching with nerves. He had had a discussion with Arthur just before the meeting, and he knew that after this meeting, the secret he had kept for so long would no longer be a secret.

At least it wasn't a full council meeting. That was a small comfort. Only those who were closest to Arthur were in attendance: the queen, Leon, Percival and Gwaine, along with Mordred himself, and Merlin, who was leaning against the wall in his usual place.

Still Mordred was terrified at the thought of how his friends might react when they learned what he really was.

Arthur rose from his chair and all eyes in the room snapped to him.

"I called you here because there are things I want to discuss with all of you before I make them known to the rest of the council, or the kingdom as a whole."

He glanced around at the gathered party, "Firstly, I intend to seek a meeting with the Druids as soon as possible."

Leon frowned, "It may be difficult to get the Druids to agree to such a meeting, Sire."

Arthur nodded, "I realize that. That's why we need someone who is both one of them and one of us."

Leon looked puzzled, "But we have no such person, Sire."

"Actually, we do." Arthur countered.

"We do?" Gwaine repeated, as he, Leon and Percival exchanged confused glances, "Who?"

Arthur looked at Mordred and nodded very slightly. The queen, who naturally knew everything already, gave him an encouraging smile.

Mordred took a deep breath, "Me."

Dead silence fell as his friends stared at him.

Leon was the one to break it, "You're a Druid?" his voice was unreadable.

Mordred swallowed hard, "Yes."

"And you have magic?"

"Yes," Mordred repeated.

Silence fell again. Mordred shifted under the weight of his friends' stares.

Finally Leon broke his gaze away from Mordred and turned to Arthur, "Why do you plan to seek a meeting with the Druids, Sire?"

"If I can manage to gain their support, it will be invaluable in the days ahead," Arthur said. He took a deep breath, locking eyes with each of his knights one by one, "I intend to legalize magic in Camelot."

The stares that had previously been directed at Mordred were now fixed on Arthur.

"Magic healed me after I was wounded in the Battle of Camlann." Arthur continued, "And you all witnessed the magic that was instrumental in our defeat of the Saxons. I believe this is the right decision," he paused, his gaze sweeping the room, "But, of course I would still like to hear your opinions on the matter."

Gwaine was the first to respond, his eyes on Mordred rather than Arthur, "I always believed all that "magic is evil" nonsense, was just that, mate: nonsense." He gave Mordred a quick grin.

Mordred felt some of the weight on his shoulders lift.

Leon too looked at Mordred as he answered Arthur, "I was raised to believe that magic was evil. I held that belief for many years, until the Druids saved my life using the Cup of Life. Then I began to question it. Since then I have seen other things that have altered my beliefs about magic. I trust your decision, Sire."

Mordred looked at Percival. Like the other two, the large knight looked at Mordred as he spoke rather than Arthur. Mordred understood, his friends were responding to the revelation that he was a Druid as much as to Arthur's question.

"I wasn't raised in Camelot." Percival began, "There were no laws against magic where I grew up. There was an old woman in my village, a healer, who practiced magic. She had no family of her own, but everyone in the village referred to her as Grandmother Eleri. What she couldn't heal with herbs and scientific remedies, she healed with magic. There were very few things she could not heal. When I was seven, I fell ill with a fever. Grandmother Eleri came to my house and the next day I was running and playing again. Perfectly healthy. I didn't realize until many years later that the sickness I had had was nearly always fatal, and even when it wasn't ordinarily left the victim bedridden for weeks."

Percival paused, seemingly noting the eyes of the others on him, "When I was ten some men came through our village. When they realized that Grandmother Eleri had magic they were furious and frightened. They cursed her and all of us for accepting her. After they left, I asked Grandmother Eleri what had made them so angry. She said, 'There are some who believe magic to be evil, because they have seen it used to harm people. They do not understand.' She picked up a flower from her table and showed it to me. 'This is nightshade.' she said, 'I use it to heal, but it can also be used as a deadly poison. Magic is like that, it can be used either for good or for evil.' Since that day that's how I've viewed magic."

Gwaine broke the silence that followed Percival's story with a little laugh, "Mate, I think that's the most I've _ever_ heard you talk."

A feeling of warmth and relief was flooding through Mordred. His friends hadn't rejected him. Not one of them had condemned magic, or condemned him. He no longer had to hide his true self from his friends.

As each of his friends spoke, he had felt the weight he had carried for as long as he could remember lighten a little bit, and now as he looked around the room at all of his friends, and met Merlin's gaze as the warlock grinned widely at him, he felt it disappear entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merlin's first spell translates to "Boat, appear!" and the second is something along the lines of "move". Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts!


	13. A Fate Acknowledged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: As shocking as it may seem, I still do not own Merlin. That honor goes to the BBC.
> 
> A/N: As always, thanks to all who commented, bookmarked, or left kudos since last chapter. This chapter is fairly short, but not the shortest so far (that was chapter four).

It was late as Merlin slipped into the palace courtyard. He slipped past the guards without being seen. He wasn't trying to hide his actions, not really, there was no real need anymore, but old habits died hard, he supposed.

Except for the guards there was only one other person in the courtyard. Mordred was leaning against the wall, head tipped back to look at the stars.

He heard Merlin's footsteps and looked around. Merlin stopped walked as he reached the young knight.

"Where've you been?" Mordred asked.

"I went back to the battlefield." Merlin answered.

Mordred's eyebrows knit together, "Why?"

Merlin hesitated, "The sword." He responded after a moment, "The one Morgana gave you… it would be dangerous to just leave it lying there."

Mordred's eyes widened in alarm, "I didn't even think of that! What did you do with it?"

"I took it to Avalon." Merlin hesitated, the image of an arm rising out of the water to catch the sword as he cast it into the lake rising to his mind, "I left it with a friend…. a very good friend."

"Freya?" Mordred asked quietly. Merlin had told the Druid about Freya a few nights before, because he had thought it might help Mordred work through his grief about Kara if he knew he wasn't alone in losing a woman he cared for, though the situations had been very different.

Merlin nodded. The two were silent for a moment.

"We should both get some rest." Merlin said at last, "We have to rise early tomorrow." They were leaving at dawn the next day to begin their journey to meet with the Druids.

Mordred nodded and the two walked into the castle together.

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Mordred walked through the forest with Arthur and Merlin. His senses were on high alert as they neared their destination, the Druid camp he had lived in as a boy, ever since he had fled from Alvarr's camp.

He was nervous. Not because he anticipated danger, but at the idea of his two lives coming together like this.

He had sent a message to the Alun, the leader of the camp, requesting this meeting, and requesting that he contact other Druid leaders. Alun had accepted his request, but Mordred was unsure what kind of reception they would receive when they reached the camp.

And then, quite suddenly, they had arrived, walking through the trees and entering a large clearing.

The Druid camp was more crowded than it would usually have been. It seemed many Druids had traveled there from other parts of the kingdom to hear what Arthur had to say. Though whether that was out of a desire to work out an agreement or just curiosity Mordred couldn't say.

The camp was completely silent as Mordred and his two companions entered. Clearly they had been spotted by unseen guards who had made their presence known to the others ahead of time.

Mordred took the lead, leading his friends toward the center of the clearing, to where Alun stood with a small group of men and women that Mordred assumed were other leaders.

For a long tense moment the Druid leaders and the band of newcomers regarded each other in silence. Mordred could feel the weight of the stairs of the other Druids that surrounded them.

And then the silence was broken by the excited squeal of a young child, "Mordred!" A tiny Druid girl of about seven years broke free from her mother's restraining grasp and ran full-tilt across the clearing toward the visitors, nut-brown curls bouncing. She threw her arms around Mordred's waist, pressing her head into his stomach. Arthur and Merlin exchanged bewildered glances and a ripple of tense murmurs passed through the gathered Druids.

Despite this, Mordred couldn't help grinning as he lowered himself to one knee and embraced the little girl who stood in front of him, "Hello, Eiriana. Did you miss me?"

"Yes!" The little girl exclaimed emphatically, her arms now clasped around his neck, "You went away to find Lady Morgana and then you never came back!" Only now did her bright green eyes move from Mordred to his companions, and they became big and round.

"Mordred," she said in a piercing whisper that he had no doubt carried perfectly through the silent camp, "That's the _king._ And _Emrys_."

Mordred chuckled. "I know," he whispered back conspiratorially.

"Eiriana, return to your mother at once." Alun ordered sharply.

The little girl sighed, "Yes, Grandfather." She released her vice-like grip on Mordred's neck and scampered back over to her mother, who instantly clasped her hands tightly onto the little girl's shoulders.

Mordred rose to his feet and faced the Druid leaders once more. He fought the urge to look away as Alun's eyes swept him in a cool piercing gaze, taking in his armor, his cloak, the sword sheathed at his side, "So, young Mordred, you have returned to us. But do you come as a Druid or as a knight?"

Mordred took a deep breath.

"I come as both." He was surprised by the steadiness of his voice as it rang out across the clearing.

"You cannot be both," one of the other leaders muttered.

Mordred met his eyes, "I _am_ both."

"You cannot claim to be a Druid and yet serve under the son of Uther Pendragon," the same man replied coldly.

Mordred glanced at Arthur who was standing, straight and stiff, his hands clasped behind his back, then met the elder's eyes once more.

"My loyalty to my king and my loyalty to my heritage are not two separate paths," he said in a soft voice that nevertheless carried through the clearing.

"They are one and the same." The Druid leaders stared at Mordred in silence, waiting for an explanation of his words.

Mordred held out a hand toward Merlin, "There can be no doubt in any of your minds who it is who stands beside me."

"He is Emrys." Another of the leaders, a woman, spoke for the first time.

Mordred nodded once, "Yes, he is Emrys. But you know as well as I do that the prophecies do not speak of Emrys alone. His destiny is always intertwined with the destiny of another."

Mordred met the eyes of each of the elders. Alun looked calm, as if he had known what Mordred would say since the moment he entered the clearing, the woman looked thoughtful, the man who had spoken before had narrowed eyes and a defensive look. Looking at the other elders, and letting his gaze sweep over the Druids gathered behind them, Mordred knew that most of his fellow Druids probably knew the truth about who Arthur really was, but many of them would have a hard time accepting or admitting it. He felt a flash of amusement when he caught the wonderstruck look Eiriana was now giving Arthur. Clearly she was one who had put the pieces together and was perfectly able to accept the picture they formed.

He looked back toward the elders, meeting Alun's eyes, "As a knight I have sworn my loyalty to the king of Camelot," his voice was level, "And as a Druid, my loyalty to the Once and Future King flows through my blood and is ingrained in my very bones."

Mordred could feel his friends' eyes on him but he kept his gaze on Alun.

Alun nodded with a hint of a smile, then addressed the other two visitors for the first time, "You are welcome here, Emrys." He made a gesture to Merlin that was almost a bow, addressing him in a tone of utmost respect. Mordred glanced at Arthur and had to resist the urge to laugh at the dumbfounded look on his face.

Alun turned his gaze to Arthur. For a long moment he simply regarded him with a piercing gaze, then he made the same gesture of respect he had made to Merlin, "And you also are welcome, Arthur Pendragon… Once and Future King."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you enjoyed! The names "Eiriana" and "Alun" are both Welsh. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.


	14. A Fate Questioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
> 
> Fair warning, this chapter is very short. Also, sorry that it's a couple days late, I just completely forgot to post it on Monday!

Arthur wasn't used to feeling so nervous when meeting with potential allies. Then again he'd never had a meeting quite like this one. As he and his companions were led to a tent by one of the Druid elders, the others following behind them, Arthur observed the others in the camp. Some of the Druids glared at him when he met their eyes, but most seemed as if they were unable to decide whether to be in awe or terrified of him.

He also couldn't help noticing the reaction of the Druids toward Merlin. There was no conflict in their feelings toward him. In nearly every face, Arthur saw awe and respect when they saw his servant. Several of them bowed. Arthur was utterly bemused. This was Merlin, after all. His clumsy idiot of a manservant. Yet the Druids treated him like a king.

Arthur wanted to ask Mordred what he had meant when he called him the "Once and Future King" and Merlin, "Emrys" (he remembered that Morgana had referred to Merlin by the same name), but there was no time as the three were led into the tent and everyone was seated.

Alun regarded Arthur with a piercing gaze, "I watched you as you made your way through our camp, Arthur Pendragon. You don't know what to make of the way our people react to you."

Arthur nodded silently, hoping he would receive some explanation.

"They see two things when they look at you," Alun said, "They see the son of Uther Pendragon, and they fear you, but they also see the Once and Future King, and they do not know how to reconcile the two."

"What does that mean?" Arthur asked, "The Once and Future King?"

The explanation the Druid elder gave left Arthur's mind reeling. There were prophecies about him? Him and Merlin? But at the same time, there were things that suddenly made sense. All the strange things Merlin had said over the years, things about his destiny. And it explained the way the Druids treated Merlin.

"There are also prophecies that you will meet your death at the hand of a Druid." One of the other elders spoke up, giving Arthur a challenging stare. Arthur recognized him as the same one who had told Mordred that he couldn't be both a Druid and a knight.

Mordred, who was sitting beside Arthur, stiffened suddenly at the words.

Before Arthur could react to the man's declaration, Merlin spoke up, his voice calm and level, "That particular prophecy no longer applies."

The elder held Merlin's gaze for a moment, and then looked away, as if he dared not question him.

Arthur, having no such qualms, turned to Merlin to demand an explanation, but before he could, Eiriana darted into the tent, "Iseldir's here!" she informed the group, then darted out again as quickly as she had come in.

A few moments later, a man entered the tent. The Druid elders rose to greet him, and Arthur and his companions followed their lead.

"I know you," Arthur said in surprise when Iseldir turned to him.

Iseldir nodded, "We have met twice before, Arthur Pendragon. Once, many years ago, when you brought young Mordred home to us," he nodded toward Mordred as he spoke, "And once when you came seeking the Cup of Life."

Arthur had to force himself not to shift awkwardly under Iseldir's gaze, recalling how he had held the young Druid boy hostage in order to force Iseldir to give him the Cup. As well as the fact that if they hadn't taken the Cup, it may never have fallen into Morgause's hands as it had. Nevertheless, a king should not behave like some child who had been caught doing something he shouldn't.

He was relieved when Iseldir's gaze turned toward Merlin. The Druid nodded to him in respect, "Hello, Emrys."

Merlin grinned sheepishly as he said hello. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with the way the Druids treated him, but not, Arthur realized, particularly surprised by it.

He would have a lot of questions for his manservant when all this was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts.


	15. A Fate Understood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who has commented, left kudos, or bookmarked this story since last chapter.
> 
> Only one chapter left after this guys! So, onward my friends!

By the time the meeting ended it was dark, so Alun invited Merlin, Arthur, and Mordred to spend the night in the camp.

As they left the tent, Arthur pulled Merlin aside, "We need to talk."

Merlin resisted the urge to sigh. He had known this was coming from the way Arthur had kept looking at him during the meeting.

He followed Arthur over to an area slightly apart from the rest of the people in the camp.

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, "None of this surprises you, does it?"

"None of what?" Merlin stalled.

"Everything," Arthur's tone was annoyed, "The way everyone here treats you, like you're some kind of… I don't even know what. And everything they said in there, all that stuff about destiny and prophecies, you acted like you already knew all about it."

"Well… I did," Merlin admitted. Arthur just regarded him in silence, clearly waiting for more.

Merlin took a deep breath, "Remember the dragon? The one you killed?"

Arthur was caught off-guard, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Merlin tried to keep his explanation as short as possible. He could hardly explain all that had happened without Arthur's knowledge over the years in a few minutes, but he told him about how he had heard the dragon calling to him when he had first come to Camelot, and about how Kilgharrah had guided him over the years.

When he got to the part about how he had freed Kilgharrah, Arthur sputtered indignantly, "That was _you?"_

Merlin nodded, trying not to look guilty, "Yes. It was the only way to get him to help me save you…" He continued with his story. Arthur opened his mouth to speak again when Merlin revealed that Balinor was his father but Merlin hurried on, not wanting to go into the subject of his father and his father's death at the moment.

Arthur seemed to have decided it was better not to talk until Merlin was done, because when Merlin told him he hadn't really killed the dragon, he opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it again without saying anything.

"What about what the Druid leader said?" Arthur asked when Merlin had lapsed into silence, "About a Druid killing me. "

Merlin winced; it had been no accident that he had excluded that from his story and he had hoped Arthur wouldn't ask about it.

"You said 'that particular prophecy no longer applies'" Arthur prompted when Merlin didn't respond right away.

"It doesn't," Merlin said.

"How do you know that?" Arthur asked, impatient with Merlin's reluctance to answer this line of questioning.

Merlin sighed, "Because I know more about that prophecy than the Druid leader does. It doesn't just refer to a Druid, it refers to someone specific."

"Who?" Arthur asked.

Merlin looked across the camp to where Mordred was sitting by the fire. Eiriana, the little Druid girl, was sitting in his lap, chattering away to him.

"Mordred," he replied.

Arthur gave an involuntary jerk of surprise. His eyes found Mordred and then moved back to Merlin.

" _Mordred?"_ he repeated.

Merlin nodded, "But it doesn't matter anymore. Because we stopped the prophecy from coming true. When Mordred injured you at Camlann, when he was under Morgana's spell, that was the moment the prophecy foretold. And it very nearly came true. But it didn't. We changed things, we healed you."

There was a long moment of silence before Arthur spoke again, "That's why you never trusted him."

Merlin nodded once.

"How long did you know about this prophecy?" Arthur asked.

"Since the first time Mordred was in Camelot, when he was a little boy," Merlin answered, and he told Arthur about the dragon's prophecy then, and how he had come very close to letting Mordred be executed to prevent it from coming true, and of the vision he had had years later of the battle at Camlann. He even admitted that that was why he had given Arthur the advice he had about the Disir's request.

"So, what changed?" Arthur asked, after another moment of silence, "What made you decide to trust him?"

"After we came back from going to the Disir and found out that Mordred had been healed, I went to meet Kilgharrah," Merlin said, "Mordred followed me. He overheard me discussing the prophecy with Kilgharrah. He was horrified," Merlin thought the word was a rather incomplete description of Mordred's reaction, but he continued, "I realized that he didn't want the prophecy to come true anymore than I did. And something about that… it was like I was seeing _him_ for the first time, when before I had only seen his fate."

"That's why he acted so strangely after we came back…" Arthur said, more to himself than to Merlin.

Merlin nodded anyway, then continued his explanation, telling Arthur how Morgana had learned of the prophecy and tried to force Mordred to fulfill it.

"In a way, by trying to make it come true herself, Morgana stopped it from being fulfilled," he concluded, "Because she weakened the magic of the blade she gave Mordred by forcing him to use it against his will, and that's why we were able to heal you."

Merlin had run out of things to say. Arthur was silent as well and Merlin wondered what he was thinking. At last, after several moments, Merlin cleared his throat and broke the silence, "We should probably go join everyone else." He gestured toward the fire.

"Right," Arthur said, then, seemingly in an attempt to break the tension and return things to normal, he shot Merlin a cocky grin, "For the record, _Emrys,_ the Druids may think you're some kind of all-knowing wise man, but I still know you're just an idiot."

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Later, long after Eiriana had fallen asleep on Mordred's lap and been carried to bed by her mother, and after many of the others in the camp had gone to bed, including Arthur, who had been strangely silent all night, apparently digesting everything he had learned, Mordred and Merlin sat by the fire, talking quietly.

"So, you lived here?" Merlin asked.

Mordred nodded, "For about six or seven years."

"Why'd you leave?" Merlin asked.

Mordred looked into the dying fire, considering the question, "I just… never really felt at home here. Not like I did at my old camp. I never quite… fit. I had been thinking about leaving for a while, but I didn't know where to go, and then I heard that Morgana was in Ismere," he smiled ruefully, "When I was a child she had always made me feel safe. I felt like… she and I were the same, like she understood me. I thought, maybe, with her, I would belong."

"But when you found her…" Merlin trailed off, as if unsure how to finish the thought,

"I discovered that she had been driven mad by hatred, yes," Mordred supplied, "And I tried to ignore it, to pretend she was the woman I remembered, but, then, when she tried to kill Arthur… I knew I couldn't just stand by and do nothing."

He had known from the moment he had first seen the slave traders about to kill Merlin and Arthur, really, that he would have to make a choice, to choose between his childhood heroes, but he hadn't admitted it to himself, he had tried to make himself believe that he could somehow help Merlin and Arthur and yet still stay with Morgana.

He shook his head. "Well, obviously I didn't find what I was looking for in Ismere," he concluded dryly.

"And in Camelot?" Merlin asked quietly, "Did you find what you were looking for there?"

Mordred's smile this time was genuine, "In Camelot… I feel more at home than I have since my camp was destroyed when I was a child." His face darkened briefly at the memory, but he shook it away, "But, while I was hiding my magic…"

"You couldn't ever really belong there," Merlin finished, and Mordred knew he wasn't the only one who had experienced such feelings.

"And now?" Merlin asked.

"Now…" Mordred repeated quietly, "Now… I guess we'll see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of talking and no action, but I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure how happy I am with Merlin and Arthur's conversation, but there it is. Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!


	16. A Fate Unveiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys, the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has commented, left kudos, bookmarked, or read this story. I love you guys. This was (and is) my first completed fanfiction (besides one-shots). I hope you've enjoyed this story and that you enjoy this last chapter. 
> 
> So, one last time, onward my friends.

Merlin stood against a wall as he watched the members of the council file in and take their seats. He shifted nervously from foot to foot. Gaius patted him on the shoulder as he walked past.

{You'll be fine, Merlin,} he heard Mordred's voice in his head.

He scowled at the Druid, who was already sitting at the table, {That's easy for you to say. You just had to do this in front of Gwaine, Percival, and Leon, not the whole council!}

{Well, I'm not Emrys, am I?} Mordred replied complacently.

Just then, Arthur and Gwen entered and everyone stood. Gwen gave Merlin a reassuring smile as they made their way to the table and Arthur called the meeting to order.

The first few minutes of the meeting were taken up by standard reports. Then Arthur cleared his throat, "The real reason I called this meeting is because I have an announcement to make." He paused, his eyes traveling over each person who sat at the table.

"Many of you may not like what I'm going to say. But this isn't a decision I have made lightly. I have already discussed it with a few of you," his gaze swept over Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Mordred, "And I firmly believe that it is the only choice I can make, the only choice that is just and right."

Though he was good at hiding it, Merlin knew that Arthur was just as nervous as he himself was.

Arthur took a deep breath, "I'm going to legalize magic."

For a moment there was complete silence, then a babble of voices broke out all at once, some angry, some fearful, some merely shocked and disbelieving.

Arthur raised his hand for silence, but it was a few minutes before the council could fully obey.

"When I was injured at Camlann, it was magic that saved my life," Arthur said, "And I have since learned that magic has protected this kingdom for many years."

Merlin tried not to fidget nervously, knowing that they were coming to the part about him.

"For the past several years there has been a sorcerer living in Camelot in secret," Arthur said, "This man has saved both Camelot and myself numerous times, all without ever revealing himself."

Suddenly, despite his nerves, Merlin had to stifle a grin. Arthur very rarely admitted that Merlin had accomplished anything, and he was never going to let the king forget this.

"The Druids call this man Emrys," Arthur paused and turned to look at Merlin, who took a deep breath and stepped forward, "But most of you know him as Merlin."

For a moment there was stunned silence from the council, as every eye in the room fixed on Merlin.

And then… Gwaine burst out laughing.

Everyone in the room turned incredulous gazes on him, Merlin among them. Whatever reaction he had expected when his magic was revealed, this wasn't it.

"Would you mind telling the rest of us what's so amusing, Sir Gwaine?" Arthur asked dryly.

"We… should have known!" Gwaine gasped through his laughter, "All those falling tree branches! All the times our enemies just fell over when they were coming toward us. We should have known!" With that, he dissolved into laughter again.

Leon and Percival exchanged a look, perhaps thinking back to all the times Gwaine had mentioned. Most of the council continued to stare at Gwaine in silence, but Mordred looked as if he was fighting back laughter as well.

{They really should've,} he thought to Merlin, and Merlin couldn't help laughing as well.

Arthur waiting with an annoyed look on his face until Gwaine was finally able to compose himself, then he continued speaking as if there'd been no interruption.

"Obviously, the repeal of the law against magic will not be an easy transition to make. Because of this, I have created a new position on this council. It will be the Court Sorcerer's job to aid in the reintegration of magic into Camelot, and establish ways to prevent its abuse. I have asked Merlin to fill this position.

Merlin shot Arthur a cheeky grin; he had had quite a lot of fun teasing Arthur after he had accepted the position. The king gave him a look that very clearly said, "Shut _up,_ Merlin."

Turning serious again, Merlin stepped forward and took the empty seat that had been left on Arthur's left. He glanced at Gaius, next to him, who was looking very proud. Merlin gave him an embarrassed grin, then looked around the rest of the table.

Several members of the council looked appalled. Merlin knew that for some of them, it wasn't just the fact that he was a sorcerer, but also the fact that he was a servant.

He looked again at Gaius and the proud smile on his face. Then his eyes moved over Arthur, who rolled his eyes at him, but then smiled, and Gwen, who smiled warmly.

Mordred and Gwaine were both grinning, and though Leon and Percival still looked shocked, they both looked pleased as well. Merlin's heart rose. He realized he didn't really care what the rest of the council thought; all the people who really mattered were on his side.

xxxxxxxx

"I still can't believe Merlin never told me he had magic," Gwaine huffed, as they left the council meeting.

He turned to Mordred "I suppose you knew all along?"

Mordred nodded, "I'd be a pretty poor excuse for a Druid if I didn't recognize Emrys when I was around him nearly every day. Actually I've known since I was ten," he added, "I knew he was Emrys before he did."

Leon looked over at them, "You knew Merlin when you were ten?"

Mordred nodded, "It's a long story," he said, "I'll tell you some other time."

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_A few weeks later_

The reintegration of magic into Camelot was a slow and difficult process. As Arthur had predicted, there were many in the kingdom who feared magic greatly, and many magic users who were unsure whether they could really trust this new law, some believing that it was actually a trap intended to smoke them out.

And yet there was progress. There were many who remembered the time before the Great Purge, when magic had been practiced freely in Camelot, and it was not only those with magic who were glad to see it return. And such was the people's love for Arthur that even among those who feared magic, there was trust that their king would do what was best for the kingdom.

Arthur had invited several of the Druid leaders to the palace, hoping that with their aid he could gain the trust of the magical community. Among the leaders who had accepted his invitation were Alun and Iseldir. Alun had brought Eiriana with him and the little girl had quickly managed to charm just about everyone in the castle.

One afternoon, Mordred was passing through the courtyard when Eiriana ran over to him, followed by another little girl, the daughter of a nobleman.

"Eiriana says you can do magic!" the other child exclaimed, looking up at Mordred with wide eyes.

Mordred nodded, "I can."

"Will you show me?" she asked eagerly.

"Please, Mordred," Eiriana added beseechingly, "I wanted to show her, but I can't really do anything yet."

Mordred smiled, crouching so he was at eye level with the two girls.

" _Blôstmian sunscîn_ ," he murmured, holding his hand up. A shower of flower petals appeared above the girls' heads and fluttered down around them. Both girls giggled and squealed with delight.

"Do another one!" Eiriana said enthusiastically.

Mordred did several more spells before the girls were satisfied and ran off to play again.

He straightened up and looked around to find Merlin standing nearby, watching him.

Merlin grinned, "If Arthur asks, I'm observing the relations between those with magic and the rest of Camelot's citizens."

Mordred laughed, "Of course."

Merlin looked towards the two young girls, "I wish everyone was as open and accepting as those two."

Mordred nodded. They stood quietly for a few minutes watching the two girls chase each other around the courtyard.

"When I was very young, my mother used to tell me these stories. Stories about you actually," Mordred cracked a grin at the expression on Merlin's face, "You and Arthur. Emrys and the Once and Future King. She would tell me about how, someday, our people wouldn't have to hide anymore. We wouldn't have to live in fear."

He looked again toward Eiriana, who was laughing as she chased her new friend across the courtyard. She wouldn't grow up as he had, hiding her talents, never really being safe. She would grow up free and happy.

"It always seemed like a fantasy, a dream," he said, "But now that day has come."

Merlin smiled, "So, what do you think?" he asked, "Have you found what you were looking for?" He echoed the question he had asked weeks before, when they had sat by the fire in Alun's camp.

And Mordred returned his smile, "Yes, I think I have."

xxxxxxxx

A new day was dawning in Camelot. It had been many years coming, a long and twisting path for the young warlock who had left his tiny village to come to Camelot, for the arrogant warrior prince, for the little Druid boy who had called out for help with his mind, all of their lives intertwined and woven together with countless others.

But they had come through all the trials and troubles of the journey, had proven that sometimes destiny could be beaten, and sometimes it worked out just as it was supposed to.

A new day was dawning. Albion was rising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mordred's spell translates to "blossom shower". I hope you enjoyed this chapter and this story as a whole. Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!


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